Moms vs careers- Choose one option
It’s been almost a year since I gave up a regular part-time job opportunity though it was five days a week (a job that I loved doing but things changed). Never mind, let’s not get into the reasons, I quit but the last eleven months has been a roller-coaster ride emotionally and financially. Yes in literal sense. Having all the time to spend as much as I can with my child is a huge bonus that was lost in the last official job, but the joy of seeing a fixed remuneration entering your bank account every month is lost now.
I would be lying if I say that sometimes I do not get depressed. But the only thing that has kept me sane is my family around me and truly some editors who have encouraged me to write some of my ideas and some new topics as suggested by them.
Some websites suggest freelance writing is a great option to be in, to look after family and have a professional tag. But darlings, if you want to be a freelance writer; be prepared to be extremely patient in seeing your story appear -lucky if it appears soon or wait for months.
Of course be also ready to face innumerable rejections – before a new editor feels this something worthy.
Sometimes the story has already been done or you don’t know if the editor liked the topic or the copy –there comes no reply and you would be embarrassed to send more than two mails asking if they received the copy or not.
Over the last one year past colleagues at media and other organizations have chosen to ignore me, while others sympathize with me thinking I have lost out on everything, even when I say that I am doing fine. There are others who are so stressed juggling work, home, children, bills that they do not have any time for themselves and every time I am on phone with them –they say they envy me.. Don’t know what I should call this state-happy but in a dilemma of course.
I came across this article on the web yesterday. I could relate to it regarding lack of good part-time opportunities for women …should I say mothers who want to look after families and work.
It is not an uncommon topic for many moms that I see in front of the school gate where they discuss if the education and earlier work experience was meant to look after children and educate them. Many didn’t want to go in for full-time work roles and leave out children at least in early ages with assisted nannies or day care centers. So what’s the solution? I would say not sure at the moment, better to go with what makes you happy and what keeps peace at home.
While I have been scouting for part-time work hours, I am given this look at the interviewer’s desk as though I have asked a priceless and impossible commodity. I had written some days ago too when a particular school didn’t want moms (parent) to be working ones but most definitely wanted them to be stay-at-home educated women.
When surfing on the net on similar topics, I was surprised to see the above article that women in other parts of the developed world too have similar dilemmas.
I have just submitted an article of being happy. Until that gets published and later too, let’s hope I find a balance of being positive of finding a job I want in the hours that I want.
Would also like to mention two more articles that I read in recent times that got me thinking:
The woman leader in the above mentioned article says “do not say things like family will be first”….
I had a colleague in one of my earlier organizations, who seemed very aggressive on her career goals and was ready to allocate long hours for the company. She is smart, intelligent, shrewd and also had grown up children. But when I got to know her little more, she said she had never really quit her full-time work even when her babies were infants.
It would be impossible for me to do it right now(guess do not have the aggressive heart), though I send my child to day-care. And I have seen the difference in myself (emotionally) of spending little longer hours than earlier (of course various other factors have added to this situation).
I am less stressed (most parts of the day); do more outdoor picnics with him, cook more for him (if at all that sounds like an added incentives for being a stay-at-home mother). But have to admit that I do get conscious of savings and think of getting in a full-time work responsibility once in a while.
I also read one more article where Bangalore moms are turning into entrepreneurs as they are finding lesser and lesser opportunities that match their experience and earlier pay scales. It is not just talent but long committed work hours that organizations are looking for and until this issue gets resolved where women (moms) can take up jobs that are emotionally satisfying and well-paying, more and more moms will choose to be stay-at-home moms for a long time or choose less paying jobs (something better than nothing-to keep them busy mentally and get some paypack than nothing at all) .
There are also moms who feel the meagre work responsibilities do not match their talent and experience.
Again it makes me think when moms discuss this with me say they are no longer in an age and stage where people may really employ them and they might as well start something of their own. That’s nice until it really comes true.
I discovered that I loved writing and share my thoughts through the written word almost a decade ago. The world of writing has made me more open-minded, know what is good for me, understand myself as a person, know my strong likes and dislikes in people and situations and most importantly given a professional status. It didn’t matter if I can or not churn out the most brilliant piece anyone has read, many have said I am touching untouched topics and I really can connect with women –I know that for a fact.
Thank you -the written world for me to share this with you.
At least it has given me a space to share what most urban Indian moms are facing (talking of those who want to do work and take care of children –not of them who are choosing to be solely stay @ home moms and have no desire to go back to work ever again).
Who knows I might soon do something in the future, that will make me work closely with working moms or stay-at-home moms or children ( they are a very important part of most mothers life).
Thanks for reading. Let’s see if I have different take on this topic by the end of 2014. Share your comments too when you read it.
Sharing one more link that I found it very interesting-