ARYA’ S NEW FRIEND

Kiddo stories, Reshma's Blog

It was a breezy evening. Arya had returned back home after school. As his mom was making his evening milk ready for him along with a few snacks, arya opened the door to see outside.

It was too cold and quite windy. Immediately he heard his mom sternly asking him to close the door. He murmured a ‘sorry’ and got back to the living room. After sometime he asked his mom if he can step out for five minutes and promised her that he will be well within the compound area.

Arya was actually looking for a tiny kitten that was trying to get underneath some sort of shade to cover itself from the monstrous wind. He had noticed the kitten the first time he had opened the door and had wanted to help the little one out.

He got a little round basket from inside his home and asked his mom to give him a towel. He then showed her the little kitten that was shivering outside. Arya’s mom understood that he wanted to befriend the little one and gave him a small towel. Arya then took the basket and put the little kitten slowly into the basket.

Before he could ask his mom if she could give the little one some milk, his mom got some warm milk for the kitten. The kitten hesitantly drank the milk from a stranger’s hand but soon felt secure in the basket. Soon the little one went off to sleep. Arya’s mom coaxed him to get inside and assured him that the little animal would be fine.

It became dark and after finishing his homework and playing with his toys Arya remembered again about the kitten. He went out to check if his new friend was doing fine but the basket was empty and the wind had calmed down too. Arya felt very bad that he could not retain his new friend for long. He came back rushing inside the house with tears rolling down his cheeks. His mom understood that the kitten had gone from the basket and consoled him saying that he had done a beautiful deed today and surely the little kitty must have surely gone to a safer place or maybe went back home to his mommy.

Arya again went to the window and prayed for the little kitten that she would be safe and happy.

Hopefully she will come to meet him again.

(The second story for 4-6 year olds, original story by Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma).

The LION and the CROCODILE

Kiddo stories, Pregnancy and Parenting

Writing about pregnancy and issues that I had more often dealt, coerced me to write on parenting as well.

More often it has been to retain my identity as a writer as well along with the intention to earn my own income.

The last two years I have also realized that I have narrated several stories to my child who to my delight gets amused, satisfied with my character creations before going to bedtime. Generally it has been animal stories and he gets to pick two animal characters and I have to spin a story instantly.

I am not sure if it will appeal to other little children but I do think I should give it a shot.

The Lion and the Crocodile
Once upon a time there was a ferocious lion living in a distant jungle. The lion had no friends and was lonely. His aggressive behaviour made him all the more lonely with no friends to talk to or play with. All he knew was to kill an animal when he was hungry.

In the same jungle, there was a beautiful river with lots of fishes and sea animals. There was also a crocodile who was very friendly by nature. One day the crocodile noticed the lion coming to the river banks to drink water and he swam up to him to say a hello.

The lion didn’t bother and gave a disgruntled look to the crocodile. The crocodile asked him if he was upset with any matter. The lion shooed him away, but the crocodile was calm and swam to a nearby rock.

He still had a very friendly smile. Then the lion said that he didn’t want to be bothered and he can get aggressive if he is not respected his privacy. The crocodile stayed mum. Meanwhile lots of fishes swam in the water and waved at the crocodile as greetings. The lion noticed that the crocodile was very popular with the sea beings.

Soon after the lion left the place and came to the river after three days. This time too the crocodile said a hello to the lion. Every time the lion didn’t respond, yet one day he asked the crocodile why he was so polite even though he wasn’t to him.

The crocodile said ” It is possible to forget our sorrows and any negative emotions if we are with the right people”. The crocodile further that he would be privileged to have a lion as a friend who was brave. The lion had never heard any praise about himself from anyone. He immediately calmed down and became polite to the crocodile.

From then on there was a drastic change in his behaviour and more and more animals noticed that the lion was happy and had a positive aura around him. The crocodile had nothing to lose, he had gained one more friend.

Eight things to know to be safe and enjoy, when in Bangalore

Explore Bangalore- My Bengaluru, General Thoughts, My Bangalore-A view from a woman's perspective, Published Articles

This city welcomes all. However, if you know some of these tips beforehand, your stay in Bangalore will become enjoyable!

Here are a few things listed from a Bangalorean for a first-time visitor to namma Bengaluru.

Bangalore is the capital city of Karnataka state in South India. Kannada is the local language spoken in the city though in the current times, most are well-versed with English and Hindi. There are a huge number who speak Tamil, Telugu and other Indian languages even though it is not their native language. Similarly there are migrants to this city who are from various parts of India.

The city has established itself undoubtedly as a cosmopolitan city that offers the glimpse of the country, with its ability to welcome and live with members from any part of the globe.

The following are the ten things that I can put down as a first-hand guide for a visitor who is new to the city.

1. Masala Dosa: Bangalore is also known as Bengaluru. Make sure you eat a masala dosa at a darshini in the city. Darshinis are the hotspots of breakfast eat outs that almost run through the day. The ones that have people swarming at the eatery will surely have a good masala dosa. Popular ones are Vidyarthi Bhavan, Adigas, MTR and Maiyyas.

When it comes to eateries and cuisines, Bangalore has welcomed various cuisines. If you are fine trying a rice dish, then try out a Puliogere or a Bisibelebath. Also if possible take time to have an authentic and grand Karnataka lunch. Good options are at MTR, Pai comforts at JP nagar to name a few. And last but not the least while you may otherwise enjoy cappuccinos and black teas; try a filter coffee –light at any darshini.

2. Heavenly climate: Bangalore has a unique climate. The season though is divided between summer, winter, spring and rains; it is not uncommon to find cool and pleasant weather in the mornings and scorching heat in the afternoons. It is again not a rare sight to find a heavy rainy shower in some streets during the rainy season of July-September to have some streets which may be just few yards away a bare dry weather.

3. Silk sarees: When in Bangalore, make sure you visit a good saree store to buy a saree for a loved one. A reasonable good saree ranges between Rs, 1000/- to 10,000/-. The range can go higher too if you want to buy. A few popular stores are Vijaylakshmi, Prasiddhi, Deepam, Nalli, Soch. Alternatively you can buy a khadi kurta at Desi, Fab India stores and Grameen Angadi at JP Nagar.

3. Feast for a thiest: Bangalore has quite a few scenic temples. If you can make time then do visit Bull Temple at Basavanagudi, Rajrajeshwari temple (for its intricate work), Iskon temple (a temple that has a modern touch to it) and Venkateshwara temple at Banashankari.

It is recommended that you dress conservatively when visiting a temple. You can wear trousers and tops but shorts and short skirts are not welcomed at the holy shrines in Bangalore. And yes dressing full covered clothes would save you unwanted stares.

4. Parks: Bangalore is home to a few gardens. For a stroll you can visit Lalbagh. Cubbon Park is more of a tree park, on the face of it, it does not appear safe for a visitor, however the places near to police station or Chinnaswamy stadium are widely used by people.

5. Malls: Bangalore has quite a few malls in various parts of the city. Phoenix Market city at Whitefield, Mantri Mall at Malleshwaram, Orion Mall in Rajajinagar and Forum mall at Koramangala are th epopular ones, while there are other malls too.

6. Heartwarming performaces: The city has a great patronage for Indian art forms. Almost every single week there are Bharatnatyam performances to classical Indian music shows. Some are conducted at temples, others at specific venues for performing arts. Look in an English daily supplement to find out on the performances in the city. You can attend a few for free too.

Bangalore has a vibrant theatre scene. Right from English plays to French and German and Kannada performances, the city has numerous shows every single day. You will have to plan a bit in advance, if you want to attend a theatre perofmance. Good plays are regularly staged at Jagriti at Whitefield, Ravindra Kalakshetra at the heart ofthe city, K H Kalasoudha at Hanumantha Nagar, Alliance Francaise in Vasanth Nagar, Rangashankara at JP Nagar and Chowdiah Memorial hall in Malleshwaram.

7. Restaurants and pubs: Bangalore has a midnight deadline in restaurants, while pubs will close at 9.30 pm. Be a little careful about auto rickshaw drivers, or even cab drivers. It is advisable that you have a friend who knows the local language/any Indian language when travelling in the city, if you do not know the city. Most auto rickshaw drivers will understand English. You can check your location and destination beforehand with GPS, and have a safety-app enabled mobile with you. You can also take a pre-booked auto if you inevitably have to travel alone in an auto. Bangalore is known for being home to good pubs. A few good ones are Hard Rock café, a few at UB city and around MG road.

8. A foodie’s delight: Bangalore, due to its mixed population, is home to various inter-state and international cuisines. So if you are missing your home food then you can be assured of finding one restaurant at least that will offer Bengali, Gujrathi, Punjabi, Rajasthani, Andhra, Kerala, Mexican, Thai, Chinese and the Pizza chains. Oh yes, there are scores of KFC chains, Subways and McDonalds in the city.

Do remember that is there much more to explore in Bangalore but I hope this would be of use to people who want to get a taste of the city when they are here for a brief visit.

By Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma

Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma lives in Bangalore and loves reading and writing on society and changing lifestyles

As published on Citizen Matters online edition on September 13th 2014
http://bangalore.citizenmatters.in/articles/eight-things-to-know-to-be-safe-when-in-bangalore

New flavours in the kitchen

Pregnancy and Parenting, Published Articles, The Hindu

Are we going overboard when it comes to giving food choices to children?

Watch any channel on the television and you are likely to be bombarded with numerous food options for breakfast, lunch and dinner or even for after-school-hours snack time for children. These advertisements make you wonder if children have become fussy over the years or are we making them accustomed to new menus on the plate everyday.

Undoubtedly regular cooking has become more experimental and innovative than one could have imagined even a few years ago. Being a chef is cool and if you are a mom who can present innovative and fancy food frequently, it seems to up your cool quotient. Young children are getting used to a new cuisine every week. There are multiple options being showcased on television, food blogs, cookbooks, specialised classes in neighbourhoods and even available as key ingredients for menus on the shelves of supermarkets.

Walk to a supermarket and one is bound to be greeted with chocolate syrups to make milk more tastier to various forms of pastas, varieties of noodles to specialised cereals in mind-boggling flavours and not to forget series of special fruits and veggies that are sourced across shores to make a dish that none knew when we were young. But when the choices are overwhelming for someone who cooks regularly for families and for kids, is there a need to control how much we cook or is it time to enjoy the multitude of food options?

Says Nirguna Suresh, mom to two young daughters, “I have been brought up in a health-conscious environment by my parents and since the time I have become a mother, it has been like a natural action for me to give my kids a host of healthy options. I personally do not feel it is overdoing my activity as this suits my family perfectly fine. This does not mean that I buy instant foods or packaged foods. There is variety for my children even a noodle or pasta has wholesome nutritious accompaniments. Moreover when as parents we can afford variety, what is the need to hold back on the options we give to children?”

While there are moms who feel being experimental in cooking is a matter of choice, on the other hand there is a tendency towards instant food and dining out.

Marketers view children as emerging consumers. Pester power and a disposable income leads to culinary experiments.

Says Vidhya Ramasubramanian, a nutritionist and a mother of a five-year-old, “I have met a few mothers, who are quite obsessed with every meal having to be nutritious and they over feed their child. As long as you can balance out on how much to cook including buying special ingredients with your regular food, it is fine. Have a blend of food options including simple menus featured on your weekly menu list.”

For Smitha Anand Rao, a mother to two kids and an architect, “I have one child who is a picky eater and the other who is really casual about food like me. Generally, I keep my cooking priority simple and believe in presenting fresh food. However, I do allow for a few easy options in my kitchen, considering the practical constraints my life. It is after all about choices and I am clear on not being a super-mom.”

In the age of consumerism, perhaps it is on to the parents how one can present healthy choices and yet not forget that being simple and plain is fun and acceptable too, even when it comes to food.

An offer you can refuse

Published Articles, Reshma's Blog, The Hindu

Beware of the reduced price shopping syndrome or you will end up with stuff you don’t really need

Have you noticed how you buy stuff you don’t really need thanks to sale and discount ads?

Welcome to the world of impulse shopping where gullible shoppers repeatedly fall for offers. Even supermarkets have discounts tied to specific days.

Preeti S, a homemaker says: “In the last two months, I have bought several things to revamp my wardrobe and ended up with a few unnecessary home décor items thanks to an offer.

Vishal Parashar, a college student says, “Peer pressure ensures that we buy clothes, shoes and mobile accessories often.

Sometimes I buy high-end branded clothing when it is on sale. I find everyone doing it.

Moreover it’s a nice feeling to be seen in good clothes.”

Vishal admits he spends a large percentage of his pocket money on clothes at these discounted stores and so needs to spend at least a fortnight every two months with practically no money to compensate his sudden expenditure.

Malls and branded stores are super accessible these days given that every locality has them, which also contributes to impulse buys.

However, the easiest way to deal with the lure of discounts would be to say no and move on.

A few tips for the next time you go shopping

? Carry a fixed amount of cash when you go to a mall rather than a card

? The next time you see a tempting offer, work out whether you really need to have that outfit or implement.

? Analyze your needs against your wants

? With plenty of options available, browse a few stores and online before taking the plunge.

? Try and postpone your decision for a few days and review whether you really need the purchase.

Published on September 9th 2014
http://www.thehindu.com/features/metroplus/an-offer-you-can-refuse/article6391203.ece

Onam in Bangalore -2014

Explore Bangalore- My Bengaluru, My Bangalore-A view from a woman's perspective, Reshma's Blog

As I read an article this morning in the Hindu on more and more people knowing about an important festival from Kerala, I have begun to nod my head in complete agreement- it is indeed a pleasant surprise.

Nothing surprising, that Bangaloreans are open to new cultures, but this year Onam spirit is surely high enough seen on friday-sat-over the sunday.

Have been noticing that people and since yesterday, particularly college students are dressed in the real Kerala saree, the golden and cream combination. Even corporates are having their employees dressed in onam related outfits. I remember two years ago, as I was working for a firm that had lot of people who wanted to celebrate, I took the initiative and we had onam rangoli competitions.

Employees dressed in the way Keralites dress during festive occasions and excitedly I too purchased a saree for myself. Of course I do wear it once in a while.

Women regardless of belonging to Kerala or not are celebrating with complete ‘josh’ this time in Bangalore and this time as Onam falls on a Sunday, September 7th.

Another noticeable trend this time people wanting to feast on Onam sadhya -supposedly made by the people who celebrate. This time a lot of restaurants are advertising well in advance for people to come and have the elaborate meal.

All in all, as long as happy times and smiling faces are around I guess Bangoreans get into the spirit of celebrating many other festivals and occassions. Soon it will be Dandiya time. For now it is happy onam.

Breakfast in speed up mode

Published Articles, Reshma's Blog, The Hindu

With busy schedules dictating food habits, it seems that instant food mixes and batters are here to stay.

One cannot ignore the Deepika Padukone starrer commercial that talks about her two-week challenge for a slim waist for an upcoming wedding season, thanks to her choice of diet- a bowl of cereal. In the times of enormous marketing for global foods and breakfast options with breads, cereals and smoothies, we might have become diet conscious or ready to try an increased menu for variety, but we have not yet given up on traditional menus.

The time-constrained urban Indian consumer has started adopting quicker fixes for preparing traditional cuisines. Many urban Indians pick up a pack of ready-to-use batter meant to cook idlis or dosas when they are out shopping. It is not just instant idli or dosa batters that are making way to our kitchens.

Even traditional rice recipes that were earlier manually ground at home involving multiple ingredients have changed to instant rice recipes and masala powders available in convenient pouches. Convenience and non-fussy efforts in kitchens are bringing about a change in the traditional south Indian palatte.<

Ten years ago, it was not uncommon to find a heavy grinding stone in the kitchen or a bride using a traditional coconut scraper . Today with modern kitchen equipments, from food processors to easy-to-use swanky looking coconut scrapers, These items have started to become obsolete in urban areas. Ashwini Nath, a customer service executive says, “Nothing beats the convenience and variety of instant batter that can be churned anytime to make a good south Indian breakfast. There are days when I do end up making sandwiches for breakfast. The availability of read to use batters and breakfast mixes ensures that you can cook a nice meal in quick time.

”“When we were young, preparation of a meal involved a lot of time and effort. There were no distractions and it was an accepted practice for women to grind at home, pound the masalas and ensure that every meal is prepared . Today it is the time of instant results for everything in life, so how can cuisines be left out?,” quips Saraswathi Rao, a sixty year old home-maker.

Published in the Hindu Metro Plus, Bangalore on June 13th 2014- http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-metroplus/breakfast-in-speed-up-mode/article6108779.ece

Tread the solo route

Deccan Herald, Published Articles, Reshma's Blog
July 23, 2014, DHNS:

The top most benefit of a solo holiday is finding out that you can do it! Also, that no one is present around you to dictate how your holiday should be is an icing on the cake, avows Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma.

A recent blockbuster Hindi film, Queen, traced the story of a young woman, Rani (Kangana Ranaut), from a conservative family, who decides to go solo on her honeymoon trip, after her fiance calls off the wedding. Her journey of self-discovery, while making for a delightful movie, also drives home the reality of space, individuality and freedom that most Indian women crave for in our patriarchal setup.

There’s a lot of apprehension regarding a woman travelling alone. Indian parents, no matter how old and mature their daughters are, put their foot down on solo travel, and certainly don’t give in to their wishes without a fight. To add to it, increasing crime rate against women does not paint a happy picture for a lady who wants to go on a trip alone.

Few though they might be, there are Indian women who travel on their own. Says Shivya Nath, a travel blogger, “While on the outset it may seem like not many Indians travel solo, I think more women are taking the plunge, or at least opening up to the idea of travelling alone.

 It’s the reason why I took to blogging and writing, because I wanted to share the joys of going solo, of finding friends in strangers, of learning to trust your own gut, and the sheer liberation you feel when you discover a place on your own terms.” 

Another trend catching up with young women is that of going on a solo trip just before they get married. They believe that’s a privilege every girl should have before she goes from being a maiden to a wife.

Reminiscing her holiday in Singapore last year, Meghana Srivatsa says, “I knew I had to fulfill my dream of going on a holiday far away from home before I was married. With a husband, it will always be ‘us time’ rather than ‘me time’, and it was important for me to be on my own for once. So when my wedding was about to be finalised, I quickly chartered out my travel plan and took off to Singapore for a week. It was one of the best things I have ever done for myself.”

Karnataka, North Kerala, Meghalaya, and even the Spiti Valley in the Himalayas are amazingly safe for women travellers, as are Singapore, Southern Spain, Bahrain and New Zealand. True, few destinations might not be all that women-friendly, but they might not be dangerous either.

Contrary to the general notions, it doesn’t take a herculean effort to stay safe during a solo trip. Simple measures like staying at hostels or crowded hotels and not staying on the outskirts – especially while abroad – carrying pepper sprays, not wandering off alone in the dark, eating in a restaurant close to your booked hotel, keeping your family members updated enroute, using the services of a trusted travel agency and the like will do.

Travel enthusiast and blogger, Mariellen Ward, explains how to take baby steps on that all-exciting journey. “If you are a first-timer, begin with a weekend jaunt to a nearby town. It makes sense to pack light. You can repeat your clothes and not carry unnecessary items like makeup kits, jewellery and more than two pairs of shoes.”

The experience of going solo is sometimes mightier and more important than the destination itself. It does not even matter if you got around to doing everything on your bucket list while at the destination; the fact that you managed a solo trip in itself can feel like a huge achievement. The top most benefit of a solo holiday is finding out that you can do it! You will find that you are stronger and more capable than you think.

It will give you a huge boost of confidence and pride, making you feel more alive than you have ever felt before. An added perk, apart from discovering yourself, is that no one is present around you to dictate how your holiday should be; you may sleep like a log or wake up early and not miss a beautiful sunrise because of somebody else!

Says Padmini Balaram, who is in her early sixties, and indulges in solo travel every now and then, “After I retired from my career in banking, I wanted to travel around the world, a wish that had been long pending in my life.

When I found that my family and friends were not as keen, I decided to travel solo, and I am extremely glad to have done that. I can fulfill my travel fancies, without having to accommodate others’ convenience or budgets. It is quite liberating!”

Make a solo trip safe with a sound plan. Because when you have a plan, you will be confident about handling any emergencies that might come your way, and soon, you will be hooked to the concept. Even if you decide to never go solo again, it’ll be an experience to remember.

Link to the article-

http://www.deccanherald.com/content/421774/tread-solo-route.html

Is it so difficult for men to control their urges and needs

Explore Bangalore- My Bengaluru, General Thoughts, My Bangalore-A view from a woman's perspective, Reshma's Blog

It was a year ago when I was working for a project for a company when one of my colleagues told me that he was disturbed by the rape of a young girl, as reported in the newspaper that morning. I said I do agree on it and it’s time people reacted. Then he told me something for which I became speechless for a while. He mentioned that India has a major gender disparity and we have more boys being born than girls.

Yes I nodded my head and then I get to hear from him, ” what do you think will happen when men have to remove their sexual urges when there are not enough women”? I just stared and stared until he left for some other task to be done.

I have never heard of any woman saying she cannot hold her sexual urge and she feels like raping any man. So how is it a problem for men?

Even otherwise, I do feel  sex has become such an overrated subject. I hope younger and all the pervert men understand, women are not beauty entities who are born to please you. Ask any elderly person in the city they are saddened by the developments the city has attained and many feel technology, digital devices and unwanted videos has unnecessarily fueled the devil’s mind.

On a another note, roam in any city in India, including Bangalore, I feel ashamed to say this that there are countless men who stand to urinate openly to any wall they feel comfortable.  Women on the other hand are taught from young to control her needs, urges and she cannot sit and urinate wherever she feels. Happy to say she does not indulge in defecating the city.

But who will explain this to men, that it is not acceptable to watch any man’s back and turn your head because he is urinating openly to some wall of a building or a home. or even an empty land.  Even young school-going kids are encouraged to do this by their moms mind you -I am talking of boys here. Girls are not allowed this liberty -you see.

Controlling our urges is not difficult and particularly viewing another woman, child, man for your sexual release is not done, will not be tolerated. I hope Bangalore soon sheds this tag of rape city to happy and free space city that has happy and sensible caring  individuals. 

 

Follow the paper trail

Pregnancy and Parenting, Published Articles, Reshma's Blog, The Hindu

Spell it outIt is not just ink and paper but a whole lot of memoriesPhoto: T. Singaravelou

Spell it outIt is not just ink and paper but a whole lot of memories-Photo: T. Singaravelou

Authored by Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma

Electronic reading devices or hard bound books—the jury is still out on this one

“Sonali, we are going to a library today”, says Harshini Bharadwaj, a mother to her seven-year-old, trying to induce some excitement into the planned outing for the evening. The young one looks a trifle irritated as she thinks momma is a bit outdated. There are stories to be read on gadgets like the iPad. And they are readily available to her thanks to her dad’s involvement in digital tools.

Apart from digital tools, there is always telly and kids are glued to it with Chhota Bheem and Ben10. So are there parents, trying to keep the tradition of reading from a book?

Ashish Verma, a graphic artist and a parent says: “When you hand out a digital device like a flashy smart phone to children even before they turn one, it is natural that they will be attracted to it and want to watch content rather than read it. Unless parents make conscious efforts right from the beginning to read from books, it is not going to appear exciting for the children.”

On the other hand, there are those who feel digital is the way forward, considering how much content is digitised these days.

And keeping children away from technology is not particularly helpful. To those, the argument is there is more to books than just a reading tool.

Varsha P says: “I have been a voracious reader since my teens. It’s an amazing feeling to be surrounded by books in a library or a bookstore or for that matter to hold on to a book in your hand. While I do encourage my daughter to use the laptop, I do not think books will cease to be anytime soon. Don’t we like to read a newspaper, watch a news clip on television, read a forward joke on the phone? So in my opinion children can read from new devices, but the charm of a book cannot be ignored and I do hope children and parents understand this point.”

According to Kavya Hegde, marketing manager of Just Books, a library chain, “Reading from a regular book and reading from a digital device can be complementary.

Both can co-exist, in fact over 60 per cent of our readers are mothers who want to introduce their child to the world of books end up taking a book themselves too. We feel there are a lot of parents who want to let their children cherish the reading experience from a hard-bound book.”

A recent comment by the former President, Abdul Kalam endorsed the view on reading from regular books when he said there should be a library in each house with a minimum of 10 books, to encourage children to read. He also urged parents to take steps to increase the collection every now and then. The verdict seems to indicate – get ready to embrace the digital form, but do not ignore the traditional form of storytelling or reading.

Reading from a regular book and reading from a digital device can be complementary. Both can co-exist

Published in the Hindu Metro Plus on July 2nd 2014.

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-metroplus/follow-the-paper-trail/article6167755.ece