Family ties, they say, are too strong to be broken off completely. This could very well explain why couples across urban India are making a return to the joint family. Once again it is time to be with parents and grandparents. But the reasons are not just sentimental. The desire to be free without any stings attached may seem tempting for young urban couples but soon they realise that living with elders at home adds much more meaning and convenience to life.

Meet the young generation couples who want to be with their elders unlike a few years ago where young married couples wanted to explore the world in their way without any bindings.

Gagandeep Josan, an executive working in Siemens Communications Software, says with much delight, “Getting married and staying alone with Ritu, my wife, in the US was something different and nice initially, but soon we realised we needed my parents around and I couldn’t expect them to stay with us there. Hence we moved back to Bangalore and today we are in a much more comfortable level.”

Living with parents or in-laws has also given a lot of couples freedom to pursue their ambitions.

Today, thanks to her in-laws, Ritu Josan is the super woman managing her career at an advertising agency, her home because she has the assurance that apart from herself even her mom-in-law is there to take care of her one-year-old son.

For another couple Sameer Guglani and his wife Nandini, the initial months of marriage were spent as a couple only to find life taking a new turn when they had a choice of setting up their own venture, in any of the select cities in India.

Soon they finalised on Chandigarh as that was the place where Sameer’s parents lived and having never lived with her in-laws Nandini thought this was the perfect opportunity to be with Sameer’s parents and start their business in his hometown.

Recounting her experience of being in a joint family system, Nandini Hirianniah, Chief Operating Officer, Madhouse Media Private Limited, says: “Besides the fact that it is a huge emotional support to be with in-laws or other members of the family, one doesn’t have to worry too much about matters like grocery, laundry, cooking etc.”

She also adds that in a close knit joint family ideas are shared and generally it is good for everybody. “By nature, Sameer and I have always discussed things with our parents, so that continues. The advantage now is that we can sound things off or share them on an immediate basis and get their reaction. Even though, each time my mom-in-law says ‘what do I know about your business’ she almost always has a few critical points that will improve the service we run.”

Others feel being in a joint family system does not give their homes the feel of living in a guesthouse. And for a few others joint family means having a bank of experiences of elders be it in the field of education, finance, looking after kids and most importantly dealing with life.

Says Poornima Prakash, a civil engineer at a private firm, “In the 10 years of my married life I have had the opportunity of living with my in-laws and there were a couple of years when it was just I and my hubby in the Gulf but given the choice today I would most definitely choose staying with my in-laws.”

So are couples beginning to stay with their parents or in-laws for their own selfish reasons? Answers Poornima, “It is not that I am desperate to go to work to escape from household chores. When I am at home I give myself completely to the house.”

Urban couples have apparently realised it’s not only do parents need their children in old age but children also need parents just as badly. If Ritu and Gagandeep Josan try and revolve most of their weekend activities with Gagan’s parents involved, Poornima Prakash makes it a point to have a eat out session with her mom-in-law as both enjoy that the most. Younger people seem keen on reversing the age-old trend of nuclear families.
Have you tried it?