All posts by Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma

About Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma

Hello digital world, This is my space where I put in my thoughts freely. I have been into various professions related to writing and communication. Currently I am a blogger and attempting to be a interesting writer and storyteller for children.

Chennai Express- Bokwaas… to the core

There you go. Being a person born and brought up most part of my life in southern part of the country, I did expect a little bit of authenticity from the director and the lead actress Rohit Shetty and Deepika Padukone respectively, who are born south canara people. But hey, I guess I did expect too much from a intended nonsensical film.

I had to go for this movie as my ticket was already bought by my friend. Looking at the hype and interest of those around me I thought maybe I could be wrong. But naah-it was out & out bokwaas -the only phrase that kept ringing in my mind when returning back home after the movie.

Be it Deepika’s complete wrong accent -showing a Tamilian in poor light or the stereotype characters of southern India shown in the film or SRK’s romantic streak. Please…we have better heroes to play romantic characters. It is time Shah Rukh to move to mature roles that suit your age. The movie plot is taken from countless southern movies that had almost similar themes two decades ago.

My frustration is not because the movie is very bad but because I have contributed to its so-called box office collection.

Next time I will go with my gut feeling of not to watch bokwaas movies. It’s time to wait until the first week of a Hindi film release and then watch it. At least I can make the decision based on several reviews- paid and unpaid.

 

 

 

 

Breastfeeding: Some useful tips and insights

Some women in urban areas, including Bangalore, aren’t just willing to continue with breastfeeding babies for long. Why? Are their fears valid, or solvable? Here’s an insight into the issue.

The world recently observed breastfeeding week, to spread awareness on the importance of breastfeeding babies. In Bangalore too there were several awareness campaigns, seminars, rallies, advertisements and related promotions.

The government has for sometime been campaigning aggressively on malnutrition and importance of breastfeeding through a series of advertisements with film actor Aamir Khan as the ambassador. Experts however are pointing to a declining graph among educated women on the willingness to breastfeed their babies even for first six months.

Why unwillingness to feed the baby?

Breastfeeding a baby brings its own set of ‘problems’ which many new moms find tough to deal with. Not able to dress up as they want to, need to maintain nutritious diet besides the need to shed weight, problem of leaking milk, the stress of work that makes it tough to reach home at a fixed time etc. are some problems that bother new mothers.

However, all these problems can be overcome with some tactical planning and personal care, provided the new mom has the willpower to continue with breastfeeding the baby.

Dr. Asha Benakappa, a paediatrician and lactation consultant, says: “Breastfeeding is a skill. It needs to be learnt quickly by a new mother. A mother needs to be firm on the decision to breastfeed as long as she can. At least for first six months, a baby needs to be fed exclusively by breast milk. Unfortunately very few educated mothers are encouraged or show the willingness to breastfeed their babies.

Mother is the only one who can ensure the well-being of a newborn. File pic.

Not enough milk?

Many of these women want ease and convenience in feeding patterns. Again many are under this myth of ‘I do not have enough milk.’ Dr.Asha says that if a newborn, except for the first three days after birth, urinates at least six times a day, it means the baby is getting sufficient milk.

Says Dr. Anitha K. Mohan, Consultant Obstetrician at Fortis hospital, Bannerghatta road: “Lack of milk supply in the new mother should be judged by the specialist and not by relatives or by the mother herself. Breastfeeding is not only easy but also the best nutrition for a newborn baby. While there are enough advertisements promoting breast feeding, many urban women do not know the technique. This has to be seriously thought about and addressed by experts.”

Dr. Ravneet Joshi, paediatric and lactation consultant at Manipal hospitals says: “Fortunately in my professional life, I have come across educated young women who want to do their best for the child. The concern of not having enough milk in the mother is related to control of demand. So if a mother nurses often, she will have enough milk supply. She can prevent other problems too if the breast milk is getting drained in adequate quantity.”

Encouraging working women to breastfeed, Dr. Ravneet adds, “Working women should start practicing expressing milk and storing it to feed the baby at least 15 days before they begin work. Increase night-time feeds to have good milk production. However as many would be aware, direct breastfeeding is anytime better than expressed milk as it keeps the mother and baby in close contact.”

What increases breast milk supply?

Try these tips!

  1. There are natural vegetables that induce more milk supply. Various melons including Bottle Guard or Lauki, green leaf vegetables like Sabbasige soppu (Dil – Anethum graveolens) help in milk production, without any odour or side-effect.
  2. If you are a working mother and want to breastfeed your child, time your liquid intake in such a way that milk is produced at the time when you are ready to feed. This means lesser liquid intake during day time.
  3. More liquid intake means more milk. Drinking milk enriches breast milk with more nutrients and calcium.
  4. It is natural that one breast produces more milk, while the other has less. Don’t worry about this.
  5. When breasts are hardened, a hot pack (very hot water inside a rubber bag) carefully given by placing cloth on the skin, helps express extra milk and helps you become normal. If you bear the pain and do nothing, it will lead to fever, lumps and serious medical conditions.
  6. There are lanolin-based creams available in medicals, to treat sore nipples

In her book written on the subject, ‘Breastfeeding-the basic instinct,’ Dr. Asha Benakappa says, “Adequate nutrition, frequent suckling and emotional support are the physiological ways to increase milk production.”

Ginger, garlic, mint, jaggery, dates may be a good diet to be incorporated in the mother’s food plan. however, doctors caution on relying only on foods to encourage mothers. Dr. Asha says a mother should never be made to feel that she will not be able to lactate or that her milk will not be good unless she consumes a particular food.

Breast milk flows naturally from a woman’s body soon after childbirth.  Women need to accept the breast milk it as the only diet to feed their babies and avoid formula milk.

You are working. How can you breastfeed baby?

Dr. Anitha advises, “Some foods like garlic, methi (fenugreek) and oats help mothers to produce more milk. Working professionals too must breastfeed their babies. Women must avail of special leave or flexible work hours to facilitate at least 6 months of exclusive breast feeding. Expressed breast milk is the next best option to direct breastfeeding and must be taught to all mothers. Once breast milk is expressed, it can be kept at room temperature for six hours. This can be given to the baby with a spoon, without heating it or adding anything.”

Says Poornima Sharma, a mother to a three-month old infant, “There is a huge lack of awareness on how to help the baby latch on, hardened breasts and other concerns among new mothers. The consulting obstetrician can play a good role in guiding and counselling new mothers. I could not breastfeed my first baby in the beginning, but I was counseled and encouraged by my doctor. Thankfully, now I do not have any problem in breastfeeding my baby.”

On primary concerns among new mothers during the breastfeeding phase, Dr. Anitha says, “Sore nipples happen because of poor “latch-on” technique. If larger part of the areola (dark area around  the nipple) is in the baby’s mouth during breast feeding, baby gets enough milk and sore nipples do not happen. After breastfeeding, the mother can apply a drop of her breast milk on the sore nipples and allow them to air dry.  This helps healing the soreness.”

A few tips for a cherished breastfeeding phase

  • Have an early check-up at your hospital post-delivery to clear doubts with the concerned obstetrician or lactation consultant. It is advisable to solve problems at this stage like sore nipples, engorgement of breasts, inability to feed from the second breast and so on.
  • Make sure to give the baby -colostrum (first milk) produced by the lactating mother. This should be initiated soon after childbirth or if it is a caesarean delivery, as soon as possible.
  • Regular expression of breast milk (every three hours) will prevent leaking and maintain milk production.
  • Mood swings, hormonal changes are natural during post delivery stage– do not give up breastfeeding due to these reasons.
  • Talk to other mothers who have delivered recently and find out how you can cope with the challenges the new phase brings.
  • Once a baby is on bottle feed, it is difficult to get the baby to switch to breast feeding, so be careful before you take the decision.
  • Plan your career to get back to work after a year of baby’s age or try work-from-home option. Discuss your maternity leave well in advance with the employer to have clarity on the issue.
  • Feeding expressed milk can be done with a palada/a cup or through a spoon. Do not feed expressed milk using a bottle as it can cause nipple confusion with babies.
  • When trying to break away from the feeding baby, insert a finger in its mouth and then separate yourself, in order to avoid a sore nipple and cranky baby.
  • Lactating mothers can use breast pads to prevent milk stains from showing. One can use folded handkerchiefs or absorbent materials inside the bra and change them often.
  • Do not hurry on introducing other foods in the baby’s diet. Talk to your paediatrician when to wean the baby.
  • Avoid giving a pacifier if possible to the baby.
  • Prevent engorged breasts with regular nursing and get it treated soon through immediate remedies as advised by your doctor.
  • Doctors worldwide these days are discouraging feeding cow’s milk to babies below one year, as it leads to respiratory problems in the baby and mucus production.

Mother’s milk is the best

Lactation consultant at Cloudnine, Ruth Patterson says: “One doesn’t find a rural mother taking help of an obstetrician or lactation consultant for breast feeding. It is something she has always seen and grown up with. Urban women are educated but they have no time, patience, have huge disposable incomes so they easily give in to bottle feeding. For working women, expressed milk option is the best one to ensure the baby is on a right diet.”

Breastfeeding has a number of advantages for the baby and the mother. Fewer incidences of breast and cervical cancer have been found in women who breastfeed babies until one year or longer. Due to natural method of calories being shed out, new mothers are able to lose weight easily in breastfeeding phase when combined with regular exercise.

Babies who are breastfed are healthier, have lesser digestion problems and better immunity. Experts say women right from early pregnancy should read books on post delivery and have practical idea of taking care of a little one who is going to be completely dependent on the mother. Lactation experts advise mothers to breastfeed 12 to 14 times a day as per demand of the baby. Finally they have a word of advice- Do not fret of losing some sleep for a few months.

Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma lives in Bangalore and loves reading and writing on society and changing lifestyles.
This article was published on Citizen Matters home page website on August 12th 2013.

What to look for in a maternity hospital?

How do you select the hospital in which you welcome your baby? What to pack for the hospital stay? What care should be taken?

You have endured the tension those nine months could cause, and experienced the joy that lies in the anticipation of becoming a new parent. However, have you chosen the right place to welcome the young one?

Yes, it is important. Choosing a hospital where the would-be-mom is comfortable is of utmost importance and should be planned in advance.

While some of the would-be-moms choose to be with one hospital right through their pregnancy, there are a few who end up delivering at a different hospital with a different obstetrician, as they change doctors or hospitals towards the end of the pregnancy.

Reasons for this vary. It can be due to factors like complications that can arise during pregnancy where a specialised obstetrician at another hospital needs to be consulted; or due to women spending the last trimester at their maternal home and choosing a hospital nearby for delivery.

Treating a newborn with care is essential, for which the hospital should be equipped. Pic: Nagachandrika Bhat

What to look for while choosing a hospital

In any case, choose a hospital that has a team equipped to handle birth of a baby efficiently. Examine all facilities required to deliver a healthy baby with no complications. This is important, as the would-be mom has to be healthy and has to be in a safe environment.

Giving birth to a baby is a time-tested natural process. It is therefore important to choose a hospital or an obstetrician who believes in encouraging women to go through natural deliveries, unless a medical condition dictates a caesarean delivery.

Says Dr. Fatima Poonawala of Alfa Clinic, “A good hospital or a good doctor’s credit in case of deliveries lies in facilitating natural deliveries for moms-to-be in a safe environment so that the mother and the baby can be safe. One needs to have a check on the credentials of the obstetrician, how long the obstetrician has been practicing and availability of the doctor in one or two hospitals. Also it is advisable to see an obstetrician with a birth plan and discuss fears, concerns or any apprehensions during one’s consultations to be comfortable on the final delivery process.”

Poonam Bhandari, a mom to one-year-old Jia, says, “It is of immense value to have the comfort level with the gynaecologist you will be seeing through your pregnancy. I was looking at a hospital that adhered to basic cleanliness, had NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) as I knew I will be having a premature baby and a doctor who could patiently listen and understand my concerns.”

According to Dr. Anu Sridhar, Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist at Fortis Hospitals, Bannerghatta Road, “Good maternity hospitals should have maternity set-up in the form of fully functional labour unit with trained staff and doctors specialised in Obstetrics. It also requires 24-hour anesthesiologist, pediatricians, OT and blood bank. “

Yoga during pregnancy
Says Vaishnavi S, yoga expert at Rangadurai hospital, Basavanagudi: “Women should understand that they need to be fit during pregnancy and yoga plays an important role in helping would-be-mothers in pre-natal and post-natal care. The body becomes more flexible to adapt various positions in labour and again helps mothers to get back into shape post-delivery. Again problems like excessive bleeding, loss of bladder control can be addressed through yoga.”

A few pointers to consider when choosing a maternity hospital

Your comfort with your Obstetrician: In your first few meetings with your obstetrician and gynaecologist, you will be able to gauge if your doctor has time and patience to answer your questions calmly. Obviously you want to be with an obstetrician who can make you feel comfortable about your pregnancy, help you build that trust and give the assurance he or she will be with you to handle any concern during pregnancy.

Credentials of the obstetrician and ability to handle complex deliveries: It is essential to choose a hospital and a doctor who has a philosophy and attitude towards birthing that matches with yours. If yours is a normal pregnancy with no other ailments like overweight, diabetes etc., then you have more options on choice of hospital ranging from basic to luxury ones. However if you have any ailment, it is advisable to approach an obstetrician who has experience in handling complex pregnancies, regardless of other facilities like AC rooms and other pampering which is optional for moms-to-be who want to cherish this phase.

Transparent attitude: Again it is important for your obstetrician to be open and talk to you about all stages during your pregnancy. Even in the case of a complication, your obstetrician should be able to take you through with confidence and ensure the best is done regarding the pregnancy and baby.

Availability of NICU and adult ICU at the hospital: Most deliveries happen without requiring the baby to be placed in Neo-natal Intensive Care Units (NICU). However if you do not want the last–minute shift in transfer of baby or mother for a critic condition (which is rare, but can happen) then you can choose a hospital that has both NICU and adult ICU at the hospital.

Proximity to your home: Choose a hospital that is near to your home, as right through the pregnancy there would be many check-ups and routine tests. Shorter the distance, easier it would be for you. However according to Dr. Fatima, the distance does not really matter regarding birth of a child as long as one is taken care under a good obstetrician.

Feedback from various sources: Make it a point to obtain feedback on the doctor, nursing team and hospital in general from various sources like relatives or friends, online feedback etc. and then decide.

Hospital Care during night hours, holidays and emergencies: It is very important for a would-be mother to consider emergencies, and check if there would be sufficient staff during odd hours. Also discuss with your doctor during the later stages of pregnancy – how soon can she be with you when the labour pain begins, so that you know your lead time before your doctor takes charge of your delivery.

Other added factors that can help you make the final choice

  • Availability of a pediatrician at the hospital.
  • Fitness programs like aerobics, yoga which can help in smooth pregnancy phase and even in post-natal care.
  • Courteousness of staff like the reception and at the general attitude and approach of nursing towards moms-to-be.
  • Cleanliness, hygiene maintained at operation theatres, NICU, and Labour Recovery Room- the room where you will spend the three days with your baby. You may not choose a fancy boutique hospital but do check on hygiene and basic facilities that can help you go through the birthing process smoothly.
  • Availability of Lactation Consultant, Nutritionist and a Physiotherapist at the hospital
  • Whether you want your partner to be with you in the labour room and does your hospital support that opinion.
  • Availability of 24X7 hot water. Traditionally a new mom is not supposed to touch cold water. Bangalore is known for its cold weather, so hot water is a must for both baby and the new mom.

To wrap up, choose a hospital where you feel as a gut-feeling that you and your baby will be taken care well at the hospital. Good Luck to step into happy motherhood.

What to pack for the D-day?

(Do check with your hospital what essentials do they provide to moms-to-be. There are quite a few hospitals now, who provide a lot of essentials along with additional pampering.)

For the Mother-to-be

Pyjamas and Slippers: A two piece pyjamas or a night gown that has front buttons to aid breast feeding.

Underwear-Medium to Large size: You can buy cotton underwear-not the fancy ones about 6-8 of them and if you are buying inexpensive ones, you can always dispose them as they can get a bit messy with leaks. There are also disposable underwears available for this purpose, which come in a set of 6-8.

Sanitary pads: Pick about 8-9 for each day. Go in for normal sanitary pads and not the ultra-thins or tampons. Some hospitals provide maternal sanitary pads meant for the occasion, which are also available in medical shops.

Toiletries: You can take soap, shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush, comb, a hair band to keep hair off the face and a few bands to tie the hair. Avoid using deodorant during your stay in the hospital and in the initial days of breast-feeding. Even babies like mom’s body smell than anything else.

Maternity bras: It is a natural phenomenon that you will be leaking milk, so buy appropriate maternity bras – about 6 of them for your three-to-four days stay at the hospital, and later. Take a stole/shawl or a nursing wrap if it would make you feel comfortable during breast feeding.

Clothes to go back home: Most luxury hospitals offer gowns for the new mother and a wrap for the baby. You can however opt to take your own set of clothes including three sets of front –button tops and pyjamas and a comfortable outfit to go home with the baby. You can even carry along an outfit in your packing bag for professional photo-session that are done in many high-end hospitals.

For the Baby

Nappies: It is better to have a rather large reserve of nappies when it comes to your newborn essentials. Keep a few cloth nappies as keeping the baby constantly in disposable nappies can cause irritation to the baby’s skin.

Baby wipes and powder: It is best to use cotton wool and water for a newborn due to its sensitive skin, but a few wipes can be handy as well.

Jumpsuits: Grow suits or jumpsuits of newborn size are a good option as they cover the entire body of the baby. An additional wrap or two can be taken with the set of clothes to make the baby feel comfortable when held by mom or others.

Bottles: If you plan to bottle–feed as a top-up or due to a medical condition where you cannot breast-feed, carry sterilized bottles–around four of them. However do note, that breast milk is ‘the’ healthy food you can give to your baby for the next six months

Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma lives in Bangalore and loves reading and writing on society and changing lifestyles.
This article was posted on Citizen Matters website on August 2nd 2013

The Royal ‘Arrival’

Glamour revolving offspring of celebrities are seen on an increasing high wave of late. Yesterday I couldn’t believe it when I read in the tabloid section of the leading paper at home screaming its lungs out ” Aamir and Kiran Rao enroll their son Azad at a Montessori school”. As normal intelligent and educated parents, any one would enroll their child in a Montessori or a playschool according to the child’s age. A lead story was made on this in the newspaper. Another extremely followed celebrity -Shah Rukh’s decision to go for a surrogate baby too came with its news -positive and negative including the couple finding out the sex of the child prior to its birth. For me them having a third baby is purely their decision and I need not know further on which diet he had, or school he went and so on.

Another recent incident was when a journalist friend called me to find out if I knew of hospitals that encourage hypno birth as apparently Kate Middleton was planning a birth of this kind. I said last I had heard of water births and not this one. She was not too pleased with my answer as I do write on pregnancy and parenting. Anyway to brush up, did read upon it to answer any further questions from anyone else.

It amazes me how people are so intrigued by the lives of children belonging to celebrities world-wide. Perhaps it is as interesting , if not less as much as their spouses. Yes divorces and more importantly, settlement payment makes for flashy news as much as celebrities professional lives.

So coming back to the topic, hold on and wait as the world this week is waiting for the royal arrival of the Duchess of Cambridge. This will be a another added story how we will celebrate ‘the arrival’. Yes over 180 photojournalists are stationed 24×7 to capture moments that needs to be showcased the world.

Wish we just allow the celebrities to lead their personal lives little more privately and be bothered only of their role on screen if an actor or respect the position rather than want to lap up everything associated with their lives.

 

 

The answers might be out there

Trends Bringing up children is not rocket science. However given the all-knowing Internet is just a click away, parents are checking online resources for answers and reassurance, writes RESHMA KRISHNAMURTHY SHARMA

Keep it simpleWith some help from family, friends and the netPhoto: Sandeep saxena

Until a few years ago, parenting was considered a natural progression of motherhood. Parents, didn’t have to look too far for advice about how to bring up their children—as it was readily available from parents and friendly-neighbourhood aunties.

However, now with nuclear families becoming the norm rather than exception, parents are increasingly relying on advice online or from books. Mums-to-be go on an overdrive to gather information as soon as they get to know they are pregnant. This continues into the parenting phase as well where it is shared with fathers too.

Parents have a host of options from books, videos and websites provide information for the initial years of parenting, and information-hungry parents are waiting to devour it. If these are not enough, there are parenting workshops conducted by pre-schools and maternity hospitals. So has parenting become tougher over the years?

Says Swati Popat Vats, a parenting expert and head of a pre-school chain, “Parenting has changed in the last few years. There are many reasons including nuclear families, working moms and single-parent families.People require support in their day-to-day parenting decisions. Thanks to the internet, parents are on facebook, google and other websites. Conflicting advice leads to a lot of confusion. Parents need to be guided on guilt-free and instinctive parenting. Not to forget, earlier a dedicated member of the family was focused on bringing up the children whereas today parenting is a part of the many duties that parents perform.”

Grandparents are not completely ruled out of the proceedings. Says Lavanya Raghuram, a HR professional and mother of an eight-year-old Puja, “There are enough issues to be tackled right from toddler age to pre-teens and way beyond regarding children. Once in a while, I go to a websites or internet forums and talk to friends or colleagues who have children of a similar age. My parents are just a phone call away and I take their advice occasionally as they do not belong to this generation.”

Rashmi Patel, an entrepreneur and a mom of a two-year-old begs to differ. “I think parenting is a personal discovery for every individual. Though I have read a lot of pregnancy books, I go by instinct on handling every-day issues with my child.”

Swati says: “Materialistic parenting is a growing trend across the country in urban sectors. Many parents think they can substitute their time and attention with toys and gifts. Also incorrect lifestyle habits, too much focus on keeping the child busy and lack of physical exercise is adding to the burden. Earlier children had it much easier as they had references of uniform standards and practices. Today, with parents raising children in multiple value-based environments; it is making things difficult for children to conform to a particular lifestyle or habit.”

Psychiatrist Dr. Yesheswini Kamaraju says, “Children today are exposed to a great deal more of technology. Parents need to be in tune with this as well. Unlike the earlier authoritative style, today the focus is on communication, regardless of the age of the child. Parents, can go by inherent parenting rules unless an issue comes up where a reference is required and there are enough available.” Parenting has undergone tremendous changes. But change is about progress and the sooner one adapts to the changes, the better it is for all concerned.

The article has appeared in the Hindu Metro Plus in Bangalore edition on June 11th 2013 . Link to the original write-up is here- http://www.thehindu.com/features/metroplus/the-answers-might-be-out-there/article4800277.ece

 

 

Public spaces in Bangalore that matter for kids and parents

Wow, it is no longer imperative to go to a mall and spend unnecessarily for your child’s play time. Thanks to BBMP’s efforts in namma Bengaluru, suddenly there’s a spurt of public spaces converted into parks, gardens and specifically safe and clean kid’s play areas. This is meant for children under the age of five though you can spot a lot older kids prancing around merrily on most evenings.

Among the malls, the one that I did notice to have substantiate space and value for money was the Forum in Koramangala with regards to its children’s play area. Even now when I take my little one once in a while to this mall, he enjoys his time there. The others like Meenakshi or the Orion have so called kids play areas but either they are too constrained in space or they charge exorbitantly for half an hour.

South Bangalore and many other areas are witnessing hordes of parents gathering in these mini parks every evening. It is quite a happy scene to notice the unmindful glances on a child’s face who is perhaps sitting on a swing for the first time or the 1000th time and is just enjoying the time out there. It is relaxing to see parents -both moms and dads and even grandparents trying to get their little ones have a good time and in turn have a stress-free hour or two in the evening.

When I was in my childhood, I didn’t have these constructed spaces though there was lot more greenery and open grounds in Bangalore. It is coming back as a circle where parents and kids are enjoying open spaces, more greenery than claustrophobic malls though they are air-conditioned and give that premium look. But hey, one cannot live in these premium space everyday right? So  let’s leave such outings for occasional visits and utilize happy evenings in more open spaces where nature greets you wholeheartedly.

Will try and put up a pic of one or two parks shortly.

PRE- SCHOOL ADMISSION DILEMMA

I never realized that I would have to stop for even a momentary pause to hide my real identity in an admission form.

It happened a couple of months ago while filling the admission form for my child’s nursery class. Enough rumors had made me write my occupation as nil or housewife fearing that schools will not take the child’s admission if written ‘WORKING’.

Yes it is happening in some of the Bangalore schools where mothers are fearing that their job is a major detriment to the child’s future. The child would not get admission because you studied to prove yourself, you fought all odds to balance work and home.

Lest, the mother standing in the line behind me said to her father “Working antha bariyalla!” I was standing there thinking of all the moments that had hopefully made my parents proud, my rank in Class VI, my graduation, my first job and then a better job and designation and then my promotion.

But now I feared and imagined whether the administrative staff who was busy collecting forms  would mention “ Nice you have done so many courses in your life, but did you say you are working?” “Sorry we give admission to those children whose mothers are educated but stay–at- home mothers.

I really admire stay at home mothers but I cannot digest the fact that my work will affect my child’s progress in school. Would I be a bad mother who will not oversee my child’s academic progress. I hope not. At least that’s not the way I see it. I think working mothers want to give the best to the child while assuring themselves that the job is the best for their well being too.

Thankfully I have found a school that takes me as I am and trusts my instincts in raising my child with all the right values I believed in. I did write ‘working’ hesitatingly in two admission forms and though I did not get admission in one prominent school where the rumors had begun, I got through the other.

Currently not working in an office space and trying my hand in being a part-time writer, part-time home maker and of course whatever time left as a mother. This was not the consequence of the school but it has happened so that I get to take a break literally once again before diving back into part-time  work schedule. At my own pace I guess!

 

Smart is not really ‘cool’ all the time

Right from electronic gadgets to individuals who interact with you either at home or at work spaces, we get attracted to so-called ‘smart entities’. A mom that I observed recently in a school was pointing to her kid of a lady dressed neatly as smart aunty. Nice description, I thought to myself.

Smart is becoming synonymous with ‘cool’ that new age kids and adults who want to remain young at heart identify with. Look around and you will find television sets, mobile phones, iron boxes, watches, safety cupboards, remote controls and even bathroom mirrors with new innovations added every quarter and acquiring the title of being smart in newer models.

Likewise those individuals who are able to scale up through the corporate ladder, regardless of fair and unfair means are considered smart. It doesn’t matter if they are not honest, hardworking or understanding towards others around them. Bosses like smart colleagues than others who are only slogging at work.

I wonder what happens to those who are not smart enough. Are these less fortunate not to be liked by everyone? Perhaps so.  Even kids want smart playmates, smart adults and smart electronic play utilities to entertain and engage them. I know this for a fact where my kid under five of age is more interested in a smart phone than that his momma has, that according to him is outdated. But how is it possible to have everything and everyone around us smart and intelligent?

In times when we keep re-iterating that competitiveness need not necessarily be encouraged among children all the time, we are bombarded with TV commercials that talk smartness as a priced asset that needs to be inculcated in children. Advertisements of kids’ health products project in such a way that they lure parents to believe to buy them to make their children smart. Recall the commercial starring Kajol with a kid where the child is supposed to be smarter day by day and asks smart questions due to an intake of a health drink. (Oh! not again of smartness talk)

Wonder why we don’t see advertisements and more of real people that show us how good it is to be happy, empathetic, well-balanced individuals rather than just smart cookies. It’s time we wake up to recognize there are more virtues in the world than being just smart. A lesson that definitely needs to be taught to our growing children.

Mommy glam or commercial sham?

While the one-day celebration might be a special thing to few moms, there are few others who maintain that it’s a commercial gimmick.

The Mother’s Day concept will be turning 99 years old since American President Woodrow Wilson signed the petition to bring it into effect in 1914. In modern times, the day is engulfed with a clout of new age consumerism where the day is just incomplete without greeting cards, chocolates, flowers or even spa indulgences for moms. Ironically, the inventor of Mother’s Day, Anna Jarvis, was in favour of honoring mothers and not buying things for mothers. It is said that she regretted having this day as it went beyond her capacity and became a commercialized observance.

Media buzz has made Mother’s Day a chosen date for gifting as a thanks-giving activity. Adding to the popularity are enterprises that are cashing in on the hype – florists, restaurants, jewellery stores, activity centres, maternity hospitals, online shopping sites, baby stores, health products manufacturers and surely a few more will contribute to the glitz with their activities for moms and even would-be-moms.

But did our moms know of such special days when we were young? No, this is the celebration of new age moms in urban India. Though, of course, my mom and her peers in the last few years, have asked me how I felt on Mother’s Day and I wasn’t sure whether it made me happy or ignore it altogether as just another trend.

Says Nandini Hirianniah, an entrepreneur and mom to four year old Sanaa, “I think the mother-child relationship is beyond any of these marketing exercises. My daughter’s smile is an acknowledgement of my being. Her shaping up to be a confident individual who can make the right decisions for herself is in itself my celebration of being a mom. She is unaware of the concept of Mother’s Day right now. But when I see the love and gratitude in her eyes every day, that becomes the most fulfilling aspect of my being a mother”.

Echoing a similar view, says Roopa Rangaswamy, mom to ten year old Khushi, “The challenges faced by today’s kids are varied and far too many. Mothers have to be equipped to play the role of a friend, teacher, mentor and many roles rolled into one. In my opinion, Mother’s day is a big hype as you do not need a specific day to communicate your love to your mother. Relationships are built, managed and communicated on a daily basis and I think such single-day celebrations are a sham.”

But not all moms are against the celebration. Says Leela Gaur Sharma, a financial analyst and mom to six-month-old Tanya, “I am glad we celebrate it, even though it has traditionally not been part of Indian culture. I think people in India are less expressive. So, if this day is made to celebrate one of nature’s most beautiful  relationships, why not? It was on one such Mother’s Day that my brother got a perfume for my mother and it made her feel really special. It gives people opportunities to express their love. Regarding the hype over a specific day, why complain when just about everything is marketed today? And as it is, consumers, including growing kids these days, are mature enough to understand what is suitable for them.”

Dr Bhavana B, Corporate Relations Manager, a mother to growing sons Vivikth and Vishnu, feels glad about the day being marked as a recognition for mothers’ unconditional love. Says she, “The word ‘mother’ is often the first one to be used by most of us during happiness, sorrows, or any other emotions involved. Being a mom to today’s Gen Y kids has taken a new meaning unlike the earlier times. Today, one needs to stay updated and match the expectations of children. If we have a dedicated Mother’s Day celebration, it definitely adds value and cheer.”

A visibly hands-on full-time mother Geeta Chopra, a mom to three daughters, Sonali, Sejal, and Diti, who are triplets and are a little over two and half years, says, “Nature blessed me with three kids and that too together! I really understand how challenging, every minute, it is to be a mom. Occasions such as Mother’s day are good as it makes me feel very special. We have our own celebration at home, with the kids and my husband, and it definitely relaxes me”.

A lot of internet sites are brimming with content on what gifts to choose for moms or ideas that can make your mother feel happy.

Growing in parallel are opinions from moms and bloggers who reckon pre-packaged days are a passé. Many believe that if you want to express your love to your mother or wife, there is no need to hold on until Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day. Rather, gifting and celebrating on personal occasions like your wedding anniversary or your mom’s birthday would be more natural.

It’s also that due to the hype reflected through mass media like television and nespapers or magazines, a lot of teenagers get fascinated with the Mother’s Day concept.
Defending her stance, says a thirteen old Harshita, “I love Mother’s Day. Mothers around the world are always highly stressed and do so much for their families. Occasions like these make them feel special. So why not take it in the positive spirit? But yes, there’s no need to be upset if your son or daughter didn’t wish you on Mother’s Day, it’s no big deal.”

In all the glitz and celebrations that will be held tomorrow across the city, perhaps you can think of celebrating the day in a unique manner that can make you and your mom feel happy. No matter what age you are, many of you are lucky to have a soul who understands, accepts, and lends a shoulder whenever you want.

So in case you want to make your mom feel good, here are some gestures she would appreciate:

* Write a personal letter to your Mom. (Anna Jarvis – the founder of modern day Mother’s Day wanted children to write letters and not really buy cards or flowers)

* Spend the Sunday with your Mom, helping her with the chores. This would be a great gift as her daily routine is otherwise taken for granted.

* Sit down to talk to her to know what makes her happy and try to bring one change in yourself that can make her feel good about you.

http://www.deccanherald.com/content/331587/mommy-glam-commercial-sham.html

The article was published in Living supplement of Deccan Herald on May 11th 2013 (on the eve of Mother’s day).

On the food path

Trends Food has become an all encompassing presence, television and otherwise. Kids to parents, everyone’s plunged into cooking, finds RESHMA KRISHNAMURTHY SHARMA

Eyes on the jobStarting youngPhoto: R. Ravindran

From being a hobby to a profession and even an obsession for some, cooking is finding many takers in recent times for varied reasons. Adding to the popularity is the rise in cookery shows on television; hosted by people who make the experience look super cool with ample seasonings of humour, exotic locales and ingredients.

Some of these shows are hosted by well-known personalities and noted celebrities to add the glamour quotient. Even game contests have entered this domain where reality shows like theMasterChef series are making the young and the adults experiment with food.

Food has always been an important part of our lives and while there are enough dine-out opportunities or ready to eat fast-food joints, those who really love food feel nothing is more satisfying than trying a dish in one’s kitchen.

Says Manish Gaur, Director of Training at Institute of Baking & Cake Art: “Kitchens have turned out to be innovative spaces that have received a huge makeover in the last few years. Undoubtedly, shows like MasterChef have encouraged aspiring youngsters and homemakers to love and experiment with food. We have a short term course of three days that is very popular with the young between eight and 15 years of age, and this year we do have a lot of queries for it.”

Varun Satish, all of nine years says, “Cooking is a very satisfying feeling. I am in a happy state when I create a good dish.” An avid watcher of all the cookery shows on TV, he says he likes trying out Chinese and Italian cuisines. His dad, Satish, says though Varun aspires to be an engineer, given the time he spends in kitchens he might turn to be an excellent chef.

With traditional stereotype gender roles getting equalised in urban societies, cooking is no longer only a woman’s domain. It is becoming a life skill that is encouraged by parents. Summer camps offer cooking classes as well as cooking without fire. These camps have parents cooking with their children with mom and child days being very popular.

Globalisation, exposure to recipes on internet and TV, availability of a range of cook books and travel has made everyone interested in a variety of cuisines. With the kitchens turning into the centre of activity, the space is no longer dark and dinghy. Rather with modern, time saving gadgets and a bright, airy feel, the kitchen has been reinstated as the heart of the home. Shruti Singhal who is planning to start an exclusive cooking club for the young sums up saying, “Cooking creates a happy state of mind. Awareness on this subject through various mediums, has got young people interested in it. In a health conscious society, good food and a variety of tastes is appealing. If it is in one’s hands to create something good and wholesome, it is a win-win situation.”

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-metroplus/on-the-food-path/article4596685.ece

The article was published in the Hindu Metro Plus on April 9th 2013.