All posts by Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma

About Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma

Hello digital world, This is my space where I put in my thoughts freely. I have been into various professions related to writing and communication. Currently I am a blogger and attempting to be a interesting writer and storyteller for children.

Where stomach meets heart

TRENDS-  Bangalore’s affair with darshini hotels has been a long and steady one,  observes RESHMA KRISHNAMURTHY SHARMA. Even in the face of MNC eateries, what wins the foodie’s heart is the taste of home food

Even in the face of MNC eateries, what wins the foodie’s heart is the taste of home food What defines Bangalore’s culture? If you look at the lines on the street corners, the answer seems to be the darshinis. At any given time, thousands of people in the city are bent over their idlis and coffee at these convenient and affordable eateries.

Today there may be debates over how many can actually survive competition from international chains and the test of rising prices, but darshinis have ruled Bangalore for over 30 years. True darshini eaters vouch that these little joints serve as their second home, and many have their favourite darshinis for different foods such as dosas or coffee. Darshinis are everywhere. They allow diners to be themselves, without bothering about dressing up. Hot food is served almost instantaneously and diners often share tables with those from different walks of life, adding to the cosmopolitan opportunities of Bangalore. A neatly dressed corporate executive could be sharing his table with an auto driver. They need not make eye contact and yet they can both enjoy their snack or meal. Why do darshinis hold a special place in the Bangalorean’s heart?

Says Sriharsha, a businessman who eats at a darshini almost four days a week either for breakfast or lunch: “It’s no frills and that’s what attracts a person like me, where I can save time and eat food that I have grown up eating in the most economical manner.”

For Leela G., homemaker and mother of a seven-year-old, “If I am not cooking at home, the easiest, cheapest, nearest, and come to think of it, the most nutritious food that comes to my mind is getting idli or upma or some rice preparation for my son from a darshini. The international fast food chains or high-end restaurants are reserved for special evenings but something that is immediate, almost like home food, prepared in a hygienic way has to be from a darshini.”

Does she think the darshinis represent Bangalore culture? She adds, “I am not too sure about that, but I do know Bangaloreans would not want to miss out on having darshinis in the city and nothing immediately can replace them.”

Most Bangaloreans are used to eating South Indian food daily and the quickest way to find it outside their homes is to head to these tightly packed little spaces. One of the pioneers in running such a business is Radhakrishna Adiga, who runs Brahmins Coffee Bar in Shankarapuram. “It was Brahmins that started this concept of standing and eating together since 1965,” he says, “but a few others marketed their business with the word darshini and that became popular. The word darshini means having an open kitchen in front of customers.”

He points out that customers nowadays often want to sit and eat more leisurely, but he feels that those darshinis will survive that have won their customers’ hearts by serving tasty food over many years.

Darshinis are also serving food other than traditional Karnataka cuisine. Radhakrishna adds, “With just about 20 per cent who are Bangaloreans and the rest of the city population coming from other States, the food at darshinis has moved away from just south Indian cuisine to north Indian, Chinese and few other snacks.”

For Goutham Halkurke, a software consultant, darshinis are a place in which to chill out with friends. He is fond of particular eateries like Veena Stores in Malleswaram, Mangala in Srinagar, and certain SLV restaurants and Brahmins for the idlis. “If you ask me, darshinis have become part of Bangalore evolution. We have grown up seeing these eat outs, eating here, and as long as they serve food that is good they will not leave Bangalore.”

Priya Sebastian, illustrator and avid food lover, says, “I completely enjoy a snack at a darshini that is nutritious and low on calorie content compared to any fast food chain.” She cooks many south Indian dishes herself and relishes eating, either alone or with friends, at eateries that make authentic food.

As a food blogger puts it, darshinis will forever echo the vibe of Bangalore.

(Published in The Hindu Metro Plus on February 7th 2012)

An online link to the article- http://www.thehindu.com/life-and-style/metroplus/article2869327.ece

It’s a brat’s world

PESTER POWER
They decide the kind of clothes to wear, where the family goes on Friday night dinners, which movie to watch and what books to buy. They are the new breed that advertisers hope to hook. No we’re not talking of high profile businessmen or jet-setting executives, here. We’re talking of little children. No longer, someone we can ignore or dismiss, the child has grown in more ways than one.

Consumerism has taken a tangent hitherto unforeseen in urban India. We just have to look at the way children influence our buying decisions to understand that. Marketing efforts are now directed towards this major section which is fast becoming a key segment for marketers to target. Surveys show that children are one of the strongest decision makers when it comes to family decisions.

So you have movies like Ra.One desperately attaching itself to toys, and fast food meals specifically tailored for kids at leading fast food restaurants; then there are malls, the food industry and even corporates who know an interactive session for children will be a definite success, as kids come with mothers in tow, and the situation can be utilised as a marketing event. So, when children want to frequent malls and spend time at restaurants and bookstores, you can be sure their parents will land up there, and shop, eat, or utilise some service, even if this wasn’t initially on the agenda.

This may be hard-core marketing to entice kids, and in the bargain get their parents to spend. However, aren’t kids becoming decision makers at home too? There are many families out there who instantly acknowledge that eating out decisions are made by children, who pick the restaurant and cuisine they want. Social upbringing, values taught at school, the icons that children idolise are all independent and have definite goals. These days, it is common to find young people to be expressive, extroverted and having a definite opinion. No wonder children are growing up to be assertive and opinionated and participate in family decisions.

Says Poornima Girish, a customer relationship manager who has taken a sabbatical from work to pay attention to her teenaged daughter who is in Class X, “Right from breakfast options to holidays, almost every major decision in my life gets materialised with my daughter, Deeksha’s opinion. It is obvious that in nuclear families children’s opinion is highly regarded. I remember when I was her age; my parents hardly considered our opinion in major buying decisions because the social environment was not as open as it is now. Neither were we as smart as today’s kids.”

Cute and smart kids always attract attention. In advertisements, the featured child models are shown to give tips to their parents and suggest solutions too. Children are shown to have an opinion right from the brand of dog food to buy for pet puppy, to the hair oil to get for mother, and the detergent to be used for clothes. A child’s pester power is of huge value.

The recently launched show on Colors, Badmaash Company-Ek Shararat Hone Ko Hai featuring Juhi Chawla has got her talking to kids as young as five on various subjects and each has an opinion on everything under the sun. That’s marketed as the highlight of the show and one can see kids wanting to be part of the show to prove they are smart as they hold an opinion. Children are being encouraged to be expressive in school and at home while advertisements are re-enforcing these values and opinions

Bhavana B, a marketing professional was surprised when her older son, Vishnu, all of twelve, commented on her dressing ways. “Yes, children these days are more expressive and that’s how the world works now. Children have an opinion on everything and I see all my son’s friends being assertive and influencing parents in major decisions at home. We encourage children to be open so why complain when they have an opinion or help us take decisions? Almost all our holidays are decided by my children and I have to acknowledge even my career choice was made, considering my children’s opinion and welfare.”

So you have electronic stores, bookstores, cinemas, fine-dining restaurants and branded pizza chains like Pizza Hut doing promotional activities, having a designated play area for kids, story sessions, merchandise, toys attached to favourite movie characters, to attract children. Weekends at libraries, theatre spaces, malls are sure to have fun and informative sessions to attract children. The idea is to get children enthused in these arenas and make them step in thus making way for adults too. Marketers can be sure they’ve hit the bull’s eye once they succeed in getting children convinced about buying something. Surely, when children demand, can parents refuse?

Double incomes and new lifestyles have meant higher pocket money for children. Kids have the option to spend on clothes, books, movies, restaurants, electronic gadgets, be seen at hangouts, or attend courses of their choice. The list goes endlessly on as far as opportunities for a child in an urban scenario is concerned. Technology, new career choices and education have made growing children feel it is their right to hold an opinion on every topic and they have every right to contribute to decisions at home, be it minor or something major.

Undoubtedly children are far more smarter than their parents who at that age were not allowed to even overhear the conversation of elders let alone participate in it. Today, you have parents who will involve children in a majority of their decisions, be it buying a new pet, making a career move or even the clothes mother should wear. Of course, mothers may not change their entire wardrobe, but there are moms like Kavitha Prasad, a communication professional, who gets constant feedback from her eleven-year-old daughter, Kruthi, who tells her what’s cool and what’s not.

Child psychologists and sociologists may opine that encouraging too much independence at such a young may not be such a wise thing. For how can a child of five decide on what his parents with all the wisdom of their combined ages, cannot? Parents and marketers couldn’t care less. For them at least, the world belongs to the brats.
Published in Deccan Herald in the Living supplement as cover story on December 3, 2011

DEBONAIR DEV ANAND …GONE TO ETERNITY

I had the opportunity to speak to him once at Taj West End over phone. As an excited RJ I was trying my very best to get him to FM Rainbow studio but he politely declined saying it wouldn’t be possible this time. When I asked how would I get in touch with him again he said very flamboyantly “ When Dev is in Bangalore you will get to know my dear”. Sadly that never happened.

I believe he would always prefer to stay in the West End when he would be in Bangalore. Having read his biography, I had been impressed with a personality who admitted to several relationships openly, believed he was a good looking charmer and a visionary who could direct films all his life.

I admired his grit and courage to carry on with life didn’t care if people appreciated his work or not. But yes I guess like most other celebrities or why just celebrities, even ordinary people were scared to show of his wrinkles on his neck.

Today while radio channels would be playing his songs he would defiantly be remembered for giving us some memorable songs in which he acted and made us fall in love with him. Bye Bye Dev Saab. Might meet you sometime somewhere else .God bless.

The Kannada conundrum

What bothers me is when people assume I do not know Kannada.
It has always been that either my complete name or my face makes people guess and, as an instinct response, makes them speak the language they believe could be linked to my lingua franca.  And that has been everything, except the real one.

Perhaps there are many others like me who have a name that does not reveal their identity in terms of religion, caste. To add to the confusion some faces force people to assume. When I was in college, people would often approach me and ask:?Are you an Anglo-Indian, Gujarati, Muslim and so on. I never objected to this guessing game since I found it amusing and thought it added a certain mystery to my persona.

Off late though, since the way I way dress up, I have been spoken to a number of times in Hindi, and when I replied back in Kannada, the coconut vendor or bus conductor and the flower seller would be taken by surprise.

Recently, an attendant at a cash counter in a mall asked “Kannada ata hai kya?”. When I snapped out of the thought I was engrossed in, I questioned:?“Barutte, adare Kannadalle keli nange baruto illuvo anta?” I?have nothing against the national language as it is one of the languages I speak and use everyday.

What bothers me is when people assume I do not know Kannada and speak only English. Even autorickshaw drivers look at me differently when I respond to them in Kannada. I?have often discussed with friends that they should speak in Kannada, for, others might respond in the same language.

But some of them would quip, saying Bangaloreans take pride in speaking all languages and can even sense what linguistic background others are by simply sizing them up. By this logic they conclude that Bangaloreans are cosmopolitan.

While all this might be true why don’t we speak in Kannada to the person in front of us and if they don’t understand then we could always switch to another language. Maybe that would make us Bangaloreans more understanding in speaking a variety of languages while not abandoning our own. Else, the opportunity of speaking this state’s primary language will be lost to us.

So while Kannada Prasara Parishath takes pride in teaching lakhs of students over the years their month tongue, what we as citizens can do is not to impose the language on others. And yet we must make an attempt to speak in Kannada as often as possible — if not at the workplace, at cafeterias when among friends, with shop vendors, the bus conductor and, of course, with people who enjoy speaking Kannada.

Published under Right in the Middle Column in Deccan Herald on November 23, 2011

ETERNAL DILEMMA;The great balancing act

Managing a career is no smooth sailing with the arrival of your bundle of joy. How do scores of women do it, anyway? Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma tries finding out

An increasing number of women living in cities and metros are career focused. However, with the arrival of a baby much changes in a woman’s life.

Many of them opt to stay at home, while those who are keen to go back to work start out with a part time job or do freelance assignments. Does motherhood mean a stop to careers even for those women who are highly career centric? Or, are there options to manage the baby and focus on one’s career prospects?

Many women admit that motherhood brings a sea change in their lives, so a career for a large number of them, is not the immediate priority. While there are some who leave high profile jobs to become stay-at-home moms, there are quite a few who join work for various reasons.

Says Shreya Rao, Product Manager, Levis India, “I wanted to start work as I did not want to feel left behind in my career. Taking care of the baby for a year full time was fine. After that, however, I wanted to get back to work. Initially, it was good, but later I couldn’t do justice either to my job or to my child. So, after a year I took a break and joined work only when my child started going to pre-school for a longer duration of time.”

In a country where raising a child is considered a woman’s duty, the elders at home too advice the new mother to take time off her job, however high her position or salary may be. But, do all women go through the dilemma of whether to resume work at the earliest or embrace motherhood for life?

Asserting her decision to resume work within six months of her son being born, Mangai Varadrajan, a project manager at a leading software company, says “When you have a good family support system, I think it is important that the woman goes back to work so as to make her feel good in life. In my case, my family and my in-laws supported me whole-heartedly and I don’t regret going back to work. But if you are happy being a stay-at-home mother then it is entirely your decision.”

Padma Srinivas, a HR consultant who is trying out freelance, consciously decided to take a break from work to look after her baby. She balances her work and life by taking up fewer projects.

Having strong family support, and the ability to manage resources in terms of arranging for a caretaker to look after the baby at home, or to get the child to spend a few hours at a day care centre, allows women the option to get back to their careers or at least look for part time or freelancing opportunities.

Before you decide to rejoin the workforce, either full time or part time, ask yourself the following questions:

*How long are your working hours? Working long hours is bound to make you exhausted and irritable. Your child will not be able to understand this and will want to be with you when you get back home. So, whatever the working hours make sure to spend time effectively with your child.

*How much flexibility do you have at work? If your child is ill, will your boss or colleagues be able to understand it? Would you want to give some more time for this phase to pass before heading back to work?

*Can you arrange alternate resources in case your regular back up support system fails? If the normal care giver has to deal with an emergency, would you be able to take care of your child and still manage piled up work and meet deadlines?

*Are you sure you will be happy with your decision? Would you feel guilty about leaving your baby with a care giver? Be sure about what you want. You must be able to take off when you feel your child needs you the most.

According to Career Counselor Janet Parameshwar, “Try to choose a work place that is woman friendly; where you are valued as a professional but where your position as a mother is also understood. Also, in case you are not able to immediately join work because of various reasons, then, whenever you join make sure to be updated with the latest developments in the industry and try to start work at the earliest.”

However she has a word of caution, “Whatever you decide, do not neglect your child at the cost of your career. Believe in yourself; If you are talented opportunities will definitely come by.”

So, if you are confident of getting the right resources arranged to take care of your baby, then there is no one to stop you. But, experts opine that accepting fewer responsibilities at the beginning and lesser hours at work — even if it means a pay cut — makes more sense towards maintaining a work-life balance.

However, if you do feel that you deserve to be in a high profile position make sure you’re guilt-free and get the right resource to take care of your baby. As someone rightly said a happy woman makes a happy mother, so take the plunge after enough thought about you and the baby.

Published in She page of Living supplement of Deccan Herald on November 12th 2011

http://www.deccanherald.com/content/204056/balancing-act.html

A voice who touched us is no more

I am sure you must be amongst millions of fans who just adored Jagjit Singh, who got goose bumps when you listened to certain lines sung by Jagjit Singh on the CD or on the radio. Sad that he had more than one personal tragedies and perhaps that made him sing sad songs that could tear anyone’s heart.

He was not of young age so I cannot really say I wish he could live for another twenty years. So I do accept his demise as though he had to go one day and he was after all above 60 .

All I can say is Jagjist Singhji may you be in peace. I have got compliments from my listeners when I have played your songs on radio. It was you singing and people said I had great taste in playing these songs. Huh. Thanks for touching my life more than one way. I had the good fortune to listen to you even at a live concert and I just admired the voice.

God bless and be happy wherever you are.

ENTERTAINMENT – DOES IT NEED A NEW DEFINITION IN BANGALORE?

When it comes to entertainment in Bangalore many might voice out that munching a grub at a café or fine dining restaurant or even at a food court just before a movie show is the most preferred option. But are most of these people happy with this option of eating out or do they want more options? With a city that has truly adapted different cultures, lifestyles and various cuisines, is entertainment defined in terms of merely to fill hunger pangs or can more options be explored in the city.

For Priya Sebastian, an illustrator living in the city finds most of the entertainment options suited for the younger generation. Nevertheless she finds eating out as one of the most convenient and apt options to go out with her small set of close friends as she finds good food and great conversations a great combination.

While some may find fine dining or ‘eating out’ as a convenient option there are a few who find this more overrated and suited for those who dare not try newer options or interests. Says Mallika Balu, corporate trainer, “I generally look forward to my weekend trekking outings. And if it is not for a trek then I am game anytime for watching movies or browsing at various book stores. Though I do indulge in going out to eateries once or twice a month by itself dining out has never has really fancied me too much as an entertainment option.”

While Priya finds the dire need of people to visit art galleries and cultivate it as a regular leisure outing she thinks that cultural activites like those interested in western classical music should have scope and to be staged accessible venues in many areas of the city rather than one major cultural venue like Chowdiah Memorial Hall. On the other hand Mallika opines that time restriction not only hampers eating out entertainment options but production houses that stage theatre plays start early and end early while the ideal thing would be to let people attend a play even late in the evening and catch up with friends post a play.

Time restrictions seem to be a great matter of concern for a sizeable number who find the very base of entertainment in a cosmopolitan city like Bangalore gets a beating due to this issue. Says Gauri Kapur, make up artist and stylist, “Thinking of going out on a weekend seems too very painful, due to traffic and lack of good happening parties. Also people seem to get concentrated in one happening party which can get irritable. Another major problem in Bangalore is the time restriction that seems to work adverse with someone like me who want a good night life.” She further reasons out that as other than star hotels almost all eating joints are closed by 11.30pm which makes one wonder what kind of entertainment does the city offer?

Increased spending power, lifestyle changes and need to utilize time in varied interests are making people to look for different kinds of entertainment sources. While youngsters are content with the existing ones those who are exposed to art music or late night parties want the city to change its fabric to cater to wider audiences. Like for someone like Swapna S, an engineering student, Bangalore has definitely become one of the most happening places with so many malls and eat out joints coming up very fortnight.

Not to forget many opine that it is high time Bangalore gets out of the tag of being a pub city or eat out city to more entertainment options showcased at accessible venues that promise to cater not only the teeny weenie’s but also 30 plus generation.

So if one thought it’s all about dining and dancing is all that people of Bangalore want to spend their leisure hours then one is sure to be mistaken as most Bangaloreans want different interests to be explored

LANGUAGE DOES MATTER

Note before you read this piece. This particular article and three more were pending for approval with a news editor but I think it’s high time I get them to be read.

Sandhya an architect by profession calls out for her two year old daughter to come inside the house and play and the chubby toddler replies in a language that was never her grandma’s or even her mother’s original native language. With society changing its face in the form of globalization, English has entered our lives in way it is almost becoming our primary language. In addition with curriculums being dictated and taught in Queen’s language urban Indians are increasingly speaking to their children in English rather than their own native language

In the last decade modern India has witnessed an upsurge in intercaste marriages and this maybe one reason why parents feel it is better to communicate in one universal language that is accepted globally rather than speaking to the kid in two regional languages. Moreover with colleges and workspaces having one unifying language which is English, it is conveniently spoken amongst couples and passed on to children.

Some may consider it to be a surprise that a language when traced down in the country’s history is actually a contribution of invaders is grabbing more attention than any other regional language in urban India. But for couples who speak in this language more than their own mother tongues feel it is the influence of globalization and many admit they have grown up thinking and speaking in English and that habit is continued with children too. This also maybe a trend in cities like Bangalore where the culture that predominates itself is cosmopolitan and the result is that it is people have adopted modern lifestyles so how language could be left behind?

Says Shiril Pinto, a HR professional, “I am in a mixed marriage where my mother tongue is Konkani and my husband’s is Bengali but because we were unable to learn each other’s languages we have resorted to speak to our three old kid in English. Also as we have always communicated to each other prior to marriage in this language so it just continued as a natural progression of communication at home.”

There are other reasons like being educated in convent schools and the belief that children who are able to speak in flawless English right from young age are able to work in global environments much better with the diction, grammar and pronunciation having leant perfectly from young age.

This is the case of Smitha Roy who feels speaking in English to her two plus daughter Aahna is something which is natural as she and her husband have always spoken in English as a matter of convenience. She further adds, “However one thing we make sure is that Aahana learns correct language skills so that her diction, pronunciation is by far the best. Yet we are ensuring she learns Kannada as well from her grandparents whenever she visits them at their place, as I don’t want her to feel when she’s grown up that she did not get the opportunity to learn any other language very well other than English”

According to Nandini Ashok an educator who runs a preschool, “I think one reason is there is an increase in mixed marriages. Another reason for rising popularity of English is parents these days generally find he interview process at the kindergarten level a procedure cumbersome enough where he or she is spoken and interview in English as the primary language. This according to me is unfair to the child and in a certain way pressurizes parents to speak in English. “

If one thinks it is the case of intercaste marriages which India has witnessed as a boom factor to be the contributor for speaking in English a parent like Chaitra Kiran has another perspective to offer. “I do speak in Kannada and am very much married within the same community. Yet I feel parents like me have started stressing on English is because we see children are not able to understand anything if they are not on par with this language and somehow it has become the unifying language in activity centres, play areas like in upscale apartments and so on

Many consider that it is a fact that malls or kids activity centres or for that matter schools communicate in English as it is easier to converse in one language rather than multiple languages. Though they may help children to understand though other languages as well it is obviously the Queen’s language that is gaining prominence in places like bookstores, preschools and this is indirectly making parents speak in English.

Yet undeniably the bottom line is that given the choice urban Indians want to focus on multiple languages mainly their` own native mother tongue as many feel children will be better quipped irrespective they live in India or elsewhere if they have knowledge of many languages.

Hoardings that can be bland yet catchy

I am doing good at my work and suddenly find myself thinking more on motherhood, pregnancy, parenting as that is part of my job profile. It’s a month since I have joined and I like what I am doing though I do feel at times I am perhaps doing more than my expected job profile, but then it’s all part of learning so good enough. However on a personal note, I have realized, I am going to be fine only if my little one is going to be fine at day care, emotionally, physically and just healthy.

BTW the reason I wanted to write this piece is the hoardings of a jewellery brand that has caught my attention since the last few months. Unlike several jewellery brands except for one or two like Tanishq who use exquisite jewellery pieces and models. However I thought I had caught it wrong when around two months ago I saw a plain model with hardly any flashy jewellery noticeable showcased on a huge hoarding of Ganjam.

I thought it was one of the pictures and it vanished from my mind soon. But recently another one with another plain looking model with just her hair focused and the piece of jewellery on it. This I felt was too bland compared to bangle melas and models in other jewellery brands that deck up in gold more than they clothe themselves. Ganjam’s recent hoardings are too bland but hey… maybe that’s the idea. Be apart from the rest. And yes bland can catch attention too but donno if it will convert possible customers to walk into their showroom because of such hoardings.

Also it maybe an attempt to connect with modern women who want non fussy stuff rather than being decked up. Although I am fall into both categories, at times I do dress up like in a very traditional avatar including jewellery and sometimes one can catch me completely de glam and no accessories at all.

Come to think of it Ganjam’s recent hoardings do catch attention but I don’t think it will make people crave for their jewellery pieces as the models even though plain need to emote little more for a woman to connect with her and the jewellery brand.

New Beginning at a place where new life begins every day.

It’s good and strange feeling that I am back to be working in a corporate office even though it is part time for the present. After Rediffusion everything in a full time career seemed a bit boring. No offence for the agency as even today I consider it to be a good stint given the taste of reputed pr firm environment and the pay. But…I was not really enjoying what I was doing and I had to reinvent myself in terms of career growth. People have considered me to be foolish when seven years ago I had mentioned to them I have left my double digit salary for a job that hardly covered my expenses of going until there. But thanks to radio I had a new high in life and new confidence that proved to me you can be polished and be a good RJ even though you don’t sound husky!

I am writing this post as I have joined Cloud Nine (earlier Cradle) hospital, a specialized maternity hospital as their  Communication consultant. It’s a small start as I work only part time here but I am definitely hoping to do better and get a better designation and career prospect through this role. Again I guess all my PR skills, writing skills, imaginative skills are coming to test and let’s see how I fare in it. I am going to be seeing lots of babies, mums to be and writing lots of stuff on parenting for Cloud Nine.

Incidentally my little one was born in the same hospital almost two years ago and now it’s kind of coming back home.

Keep you posted on more such things. I will be continuing to write for other publications even though the frequency might go down a bit. Wish me luck and thanks for reading this.