After frantic search on the net- to take my child to an interesting place and a new one in Bangalore, I discovered about Gambolla on Madras Bank Road( parallel road to Museum road and opposite St. Joseph’s Boys School).
It took little time and patience to search for this quiet place tucked away in the bustling neighborhood of M.G road and alike. I
I was not sure what to expect at Gambolla and I just wanted D -my child to try being there.
I was informed by the lady over there on the charges and I decided to try spending an hour over there.
D really liked I guess the centre as there were puzzles, story books and building blocks. In an hour he spent the time there with the child-minder(if I can call the lady who was attending to D), he didn’t really bother what I was doing.
Not sure how many times he would enjoy more being there, but yes will go back on some other weekend.
It was of course a happy experience for me …to see him happy.
Tagging a pic too of him taken there.
Yes since the last one month, have been noticing quite a few articles on activity centres for kids. Guess moms want places other than public parks and kid zones in malls, where their child will be attended, gets to engage meaningfully and not get bored.
Suddenly I also observe many such activity centres in Bangalore. Probably part of necessity and convenience.
Engaging children right through holidays is not an easy task for a urban mom in Bangalore.
I know for sure that many want to skip the television box in their homes from getting glued by children and find alternate time -consuming and meaningful activities ; but are lost on what to do.
I have been browsing since morning on what to do this weekend with a child and not really spend too much time (money and time) at the malls.
I thought of listing a few to remind me once in a while to do them and hopefully they will be of use to some other mom too.
1) Leave home early and plan to stick to half-a-day trip at Cubbon Park or Lalbagh
2) Travel by select option of public transport (Volvo bus ) to other part of the city just for a long bus journey. I have found this fun sometimes and engaging enough to keep my little one quiet for quite some time during the journey.
3) Go to a book store and try to accumulate a few things to be done activity sheets beforehand and use them in holidays.
4) Again travel using another select public transport -Metro Train to and fro -again just for fun.
5) If you are game, go to Mysore or Ranganthittu bird sanctuary on a day-trip( the first one can be done with a bus or train -the latter one -it’s advisable to have your own transport).
6) Likewise if you have a car then drive down to Nandi Hills
7) If you are a single mother then go for more home bound options like trying to get your kid to a activity centre that particular weekend . There are enough activity centres in Bangalore and indoor play areas in many locations in Bangalore that are conducting activities to engage children. If you are lucky you may find something age appropriate the weekend you are in a dilemma.
8) Spend time with your child in a bookstore in the kid’s section. In the age of mobiles, ipads and more it is even now valuable to teach kids the value of reading from a hand held paper story book. Buy something that suits your budget and your kid’s interest.
9) This one was my favourite as a kid- My dad would take me often to see the lit Vidhana Soudha in the night but now it stays as a concrete structure and away from people. Maybe just to show where the Vidhana Soudha is and the High Court is, kids can be taken as a single trip.
It is often a dilemma when working women become aware that they are pregnant and they wonder ‘what next’? The dilemma of what would happen if they informed at their work place haunts them. They fear that a pregnancy might hamper their career, promotion, treatment by colleagues, and the likes… True. It’s not very simple being a pregnant working colleague. But it isn’t too complicated either.
Initial stages
It would not be possible to expect all pregnant women to perform with the same zeal and energy as prior to pregnancy. If possible talk to your boss on a ‘role change’. It is recommended that you go for a lesser demanding role at your office, if it is a possibility. Talk to your seniors and find out what best can be done considering that you want to be committed to the work and also want to take care of yourself in every possible manner, in this situation.
The announcement
It is easier perhaps not to inform others on pregnancy but not after the third month when colleagues can figure out the growing belly. It is advised you inform your boss first on your new change and slowly to other colleagues. This will also make them win your trust in sharing an important announcement of your life and will enable them to show some extra care (hopefully) towards you. If you have colleagues who carry an indifferent attitude, then it is better to be poised and carry on with work as you normally would.
Promotion and opportunity?
It could be that you are worried about the promotion that you were due to get from the company and you find out you have gotten pregnant. If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy then be confident and announce your pregnancy to your colleagues. Be prepared to answer questions on what you intend to do post pregnancy. Chart out a plan on your career path before you talk to your seniors about your pregnancy. If you want to take a few months off, then be assertive and confident about your choice. There are career experts who say ‘Opportunities are enormous and you can always come back when you feel confident to come back and sure that your baby is under trusted care’.
Eating at work
If you are continuing to be working full-time until your second trimester or until the end of pregnancy there is a lot of attention required to be paid for what diet you will be having during the nine months. It is easy to binge on several foods but the choice you need to make is to be healthy for yourself and the baby. Be sure to have regular meal times, and adequate amount of water intake. Avoid unnecessary cups of beverages that contain caffeine and try to keep off binging on sweets and crisps. Have a good healthy breakfast with a mid-morning snack of a fruit and dry fruits for munchies. Ensure your lunch is well-balanced before having to work again for a few hours in a day.
Posture at work
It is very essential that you have adequate back support with a pillow or a very comfortable chair that takes care of your back. You may want to have a small side stool to be able to stretch your legs and keep them on, especially during the second trimester. Move around every hour to avoid swollen feet and leg cramps. Do not hesitate from taking the support of walls or railings while walking. Swallow your pride, mommy! Health and safety first.
Maternity leave benefits
Organizations differ in the maternity leave extended to the women employees. Due to increased awareness on retaining their women employees, companies now are offering various benefits with understanding attitude, leaves and better recovery time post child-birth before women can come back to work. Discuss regarding this with your employer and see what benefits you are entitled to. You don’t have to feel weird; it’s your right as an employee!
Understand your body
Do not go overboard. It is possible that you have heard of others who have worked until the last week of the pregnancy and delivered a healthy baby. But you need not prove it to anyone! The most important concern for you is to take care of yourself and your baby without exerting yourself too much. You may have monetary issues, due to which, you cannot avoid taking a sabbatical or request for an early break from work.
You need to know your limits very well in such cases. Request a small cut in the number of work hours you put in. If your employer is understanding enough, (s)he will certainly make that small allowance for you.
This article was published in the She page of Living supplement of Deccan Herald on November 2nd 2013
Bangalore is a city in India that presents a view of realistic India. It’s people have embraced the global viewpoints and opinions according to what suits them. People also have a broader perspective on accepting people of different ethnicities and countries.
While there are quite a few who have travelled to other countries and lived there before returning back to the city, there are also a huge number who haven’t moved beyond Bangalore or Karnataka.
Due to the influx of the mixed population and parents who have seen the best schools abroad, there have come into existence since the last 6-7 years a number of International schools. Of course a huge number of CBSE, ICSE and State curriculum schools also are ensuring children in Bangalore are going to turn as ambitious, intelligent and independent as their global counterparts.
We Bangaloreans love food. The number of eateries that have dotted the city’s locales are enough proof that many who live here earn to eat out! Name a cuisine from the country or the International ones, you are sure to find a restaurant that serves you right. While there are many who close down too as we people cannot tolerate ‘bad dishes” and restaurants that do not offer value for money; there are also a sizeable chunk who may not look chic in size or looks, but offer ‘yum’ South Indian food. If you visit Bangalore you cannot miss eating at a darshini- our standing and eating culture.
And there are the posh cafes and eateries who make dining out a special experience. In between we also have mid sized eateries that have literally come up in every single neighborhood in Bangalore and are presenting global cuisines at reasonable prices, are clean but do not pay too much attention on ambience.
Coming to the attire worn by most people in Bangalore, the traditional ‘panche’ by men and ‘langa davani’ has literally vanished and sometimes seen either at homes or for festive occasions by young girls. The mall culture that sprang a decade ago has a bit gone overboard and with the number of malls in the city. Youngsters love to be there in these so called ‘hangouts’. Yes they do ensure they come dressed sharp, chic and extremely fashion conscious.
Most women that I observe on the road will not part with their leggings collection to any other garment. Yes a lot love to wear smart kurtas and leggings or long and short tees with again leggings. Size doesn’t matter, shape doesn’t matter. Bangalore women feel legging as a garment that has been introduced in their lives is something that is irreplaceable when it comes to comfort. Men too are getting fashion conscious due to better incomes, wider exposure to fashion trends though still a huge number prefer the trouser-shirt attire for most days at work.
Bangaloreans may have been termed as laid-back by Mumbaikers and Delhites but today there are many who are really hard-working and it is definitely becoming a entrepreneur city with a number of new businesses. If the BPO industry showed Bangaloreans that people can work even at night, today’s active working force (according to me between 23-50) are showing being at the right time, right place holding on to the right idea and starting it is the spirit of the new Bangalorean. It’s also about starting something new, interesting and help in bringing that feel-good factor.
The city has a number of sane individuals (thankfully) who believe in conserving some percentage of the green city tag and also some who want to promote Indian art forms and its culture. There’s theatre, classical music, classical dance, Indian artifacts, paintings -art galleries, Karnataka cuisines, a few good Indian films- in this city. There is demand and there are takers for all these along with global art forms.
As I have come to understand, many (educated, well-read, open to new ideas and adopt new attitude shifts when required) are able to converse intelligently with any individual from the globe. Bangalore has a number of Kannadigas but also it is home to many people who have come from various other states and made this city their home since the last few years or since a last few decades.
The expat population is also too minimal to be ignored and thanks to them we have wider exposure to culture, better command over various foreign languages, cuisines and attire. Many enthusiasts are learning French, German, Japanese, Chinese at authorized centers and even International schools are giving this option to their students.
I have lived in this city for over 30 years and take pride to call myself a Bangalorean. I have been a PR professional, a part-time radio jockey, an independent writer for publications, a content writer for hospitals and a few more…
Now I think it’s time for me to take on what I love further in life . Travel. So let me begin at home, move around the city, soak myself in various cultural activities, write about my bangalore and surely invite women travellers from India and other parts to join me in visiting and re-visiting Bangalore. If you like further what I would write under this category I can be your travel guide.
Hopefully will be writing a lot more Bangalore. thanks for reading.
It doesn’t matter how the other person is better than you, but that you’ve been a better person today from what you were yesterday, writes Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma.
Remember a decade old popular tag line of a television brand – ‘Neighbour’s envy, owner’s pride’?
Jealousy is a strong emotion that can get very negative for self and others. If it goes out of control, it can rip your life and tear relationships apart. But being jealous and envious are different. Very often, the two are confused with each other and sometimes one can lead to the other. These emotions are provocative enough to lead to unhappiness, emotional turmoil, rage, resentment and low self-esteem.
Envy is when you want what someone else has. But jealousy is when you feel bad about someone having taken what is yours. Jealousy is something that can affect siblings, break relationships, or even pull down one’s career. It is said that the fear of losing our importance, relationships or a cherished situation can cause jealousy. It happens all the time in many life scenarios. You feel a bout of envy when you find that your neighbour has bought a plush apartment while you are still holed up in a tiny rented home.
It could also be that you get jealous of your cousin who has just announced to you that his daughter is going abroad for studies while your daughter does not think of the world more than mindless hours of surfing and is least academically concerned.
In work environments we find the cloud of jealousy and anger overcoming some of us when a colleague who hardly deserved to go places is promoted. It may be that an extrovert co-worker who uses all the social skills to talk about his achievements is favoured in new projects when you are left behind as you thought your work will speak for itself. You start feeling jealous of the person as the recognition and status, atleast in your mind, belonged to you.
Jealousy is not confined to adults only. Children begin to feel jealous sooner or later when they start to interact in the social environment.
Feelings of jealousy are almost always negative, since the jealous person may continue to build up resentment towards his or her rival and the situation can turn volatile.
Sometimes it can happen that you are the target of jealousy for another person. Here the other person may constantly try to create turmoil – some minor to a few huge ones to bring you unhappiness.
Experts say it can work out if you tell the person that you too have troubles and difficulties in life. If the person persists, then either move away from him/her or at least build a mental wall so that you don’t get disturbed about it.
It’s hard, but not impossible to overcome the baggage of anger, frustration, and jealousy. Here are a few ways of dealing with jealousy:
* Learn to accept the situation. Why would you brood over something on which you have no control or cannot do anything about it?
* Look around. You will find that there are amazing people who happily write books without eyes, dance without real feet, and paint without hands! Do you still feel unfortunate?
* Do not turn devious and lose your ethics in your desperation to get ahead. Remember that the feeling of jealousy is more about you than the other person.
* List down what you like about yourself. It is good to make a list in your self-help recovery process on what you want from life and the qualities you admire about yourself. You will feel better and get motivated to achieve, rather than feel jealous and spoil your little world of happiness.
* Eliminate all negative emotions from yourself. The more you are able to control your emotions; the more you will be able to control your life and steer your life in the direction you want.
* It is important to love yourself before you can spread the good vibe to others. You will no longer feel the need to criticize everyone you envy or a person in particular. The unwanted feeling of envy and jealousy will soon turn into something that you just want to throw into the bin.
* Talk to a friend or a counsellor if you are afraid to open up your feelings to a known person. Being aware of your feelings is crucial in deconstructing them and tackling the problem.
* You may unintentionally express your jealousy to your colleague or friend. This can make matters worse between you and them. It is better to take it into confidence and find out other ways to curb this unhealthy feeling.
* Take your mind to something more interesting. Find other distractions. There are lots of things in this world that can keep you occupied.
Don’t wonder how your life would have been different if only… Do something good for yourself where you do not have to bother of others’ progress in life. There will always be someone more intelligent, more lucky, or more wealthy than you. It doesn’t matter as long as you can find happiness with the things in your life.
It’s the way we see the world that can make the difference. Get some perspective. If you are a better person today from what you were yesterday, you are amazing and you are getting ahead in life, and that is all that matters.
I happened to read a few days ago in the supplement of the daily I get at home that Kareena Kapoor the cine actress will be starring in a song that praises her booty. Repelled by such meaningless writing and journalism, I just moved on to read something else.
Yesterday I happened to watch the video of the song (on the telly) of the upcoming film ’Gori Tere Pyaar Mein’ in which Imraan Khan and Kareena have been featured.
A few years ago I had written a similar article (link mentioned at the end of the article) when I was unhappy seeing one of my admired young actress Deepika Padukone dancing to a disgusting number where she smirks saying ‘kal to mera skirt keechega na? keechega ya nahin?”. Today we have Kareena dancing to this song that refers to the rear side in Punjabi, Gore gore, round -round ,naughty naughty toonh’
Heavens… please give some sense to those working in films. It is complete insensitivity and lack of talent that make writers write these song and women get featured in these. Stop the torture. It doesn’t even have good music or a humming tune for people to feel good.
It is time talented women from the film industry, more importantly sensible women taught their sons, and explain to men in large that women SHOULD NOT BE SEEN AS AN OBJECT.
When you women are already doing great in your careers, I am sure you have a say to where you can agree to dance to a number and where you put your foot down. You women have sure shown the changing India that there are depth-oriented roles for you and scripts written for you. ( Though I completely was aghast at the Dirty Picture with the so called depth oriented role for Ms. Balan).
It is men in villages, upcountry and of course in cities who need to be made understand that women are absolutely more valuable than their bodies. Only if women themselves stop describing themselves in disgusting manner, hopefully some change would happen. I really do not want this song to be played in future marriages that would occur in the next year and least my child sing even a line of it.
Please so called lyricists and music directors, directors and actors do not make women look degraded. I really hope there is an end to these songs and the damn item songs in hindi films.
Of late I have begun to feel it is the mind which is more sexier than anything else. I don’t know I have found many women who admit to admire men who are intelligent, charismatic, good humored and polished. It is not that we have not liked men who are good-looking but never to the extent that makes a woman or a man feel objectified.
I am sure this song like many other films are looking for promotional value but such numbers are definably going to detest me to avoid these films at any cost.
I have been thinking on various accounts as to what really defines a person’s culture. Is it language, cuisine, attire or knowledge of the ancient scriptures. If you ask me .. I know lil bit of all this and I speak in more than one language, dress according to my comfort and sometimes the occasion and enjoy many cuisines. That I am not sure makes me very cultured or a mixed personality who gets to her roots once in a while.
I got this sudden urge since the last few days to listen to classical Indian music, attend an ‘arangetram’ of a budding new Bharatnatyam dancer, read something more philosophical, attend a beautiful story telling event at Bimba’s Rasaloka. I managed to all of this and felt happy that I somewhere connect with my culture that I believe for that moment. Enjoyed all of them thoroughly.
Planing to do something that will enhance my knowledge and others who visit Bangalore regarding its vibrant and splendid culture. Hope that will be my goal in 2014.
Happy Dasara. Those who missed going to Mysore for the 9-day event ..don’t worry. Bangalore has got lots to offer in terms of culture. Come and enjoy the spirit of nada habba.
Aha! This task in my life has become inevitable. Thanks to a little kid at home who keeps reminding me that cooking is essential for a healthy life.
Eating out is very important for me. Yes it does account for a huge entertainment and leisure factor. But over the years with the greys, I have become more cynical and critical of the food that comes on my plate at restaurants. But of course I hate it when anyone at home complains the dish is not-so-perfect.
It perhaps started with the humble Maggi -instant noodles entering our Indian homes, but today we find many urban women and mommy’s exploring global cuisines. Be it italian, thai, and the vast variety of inter-state cuisines. Though I am quite ignorant of the vegetarian kerala cuisines, I surely like the appams and veg stew. Likewise the cuisines from the North have entered many south indian homes. Parathas are fast to be made and act as wholesome meals.
Go green -go herbal once in while for a variety of cuisine on your breakfast menus with palak, pudina or methi. Try to snip out the leaves when you are in a relaxed mood the previous day for the next day’s breakfast. Use them for chutneys, parathas or curry with rotis.
Many new-age moms would want to thank their men for being the hands-on father to their children. The men of today love to take the role of dad quite seriously, almost everyday and not just on select occasions. The new-age dad is young at heart and in tune with his child’s needs. He dons this role with a lot of preparedness right from the time his wife is pregnant.
From accompanying the would-be-mother to her regular antenatal visits to witnessing the birthing of his child, the modern dad is getting rooted with deep attachment towards family. Routine activities like dropping or picking the child from school, taking the child to hobby classes, participating in household decisions, monitoring the child’s academic progress are all part of the new-age dad. A little observation in public spaces like in malls, theaters, parks, and one can see that it is no more only momma’s domain with kids. Dads are happily seen roaming around with their kids. Thankfully, the modern dad is nothing like his old-school ‘Sunday Uncle’ counterpart.
Dads who, until two decades ago, were shy to even discuss children among peers are a thing of the past. Today being known as the family man who is concerned and shows this concern in public domain only adds to his appeal. Even a few celebrity dads do not avoid arc lights when seen in company with family, particularly with kids. Shah Rukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Akshay Kumar, Arjun Rampal, Mahesh Bhupathi, David Beckham, Tom Cruise are comfortable to be seen as doting dads, on social media platforms.
Walk into any pre-school or a paediatrician’s clinic, and you are bound to observe a lot of fathers comforting their little ones. The alpha male is willing to walk that extra mile to make sure his child is well taken care of. It’s the display of unabashed attitude of family persona that the previous generation rarely wore on their sleeve, especially fathers. The shift has come, thanks to new-age thinking and understanding of relationships from a woman’s and child’s point of view.
Corporate maternity hospitals and baby products manufacturers too persuade men to be with women during pregnancy and the baby’s infant years. And those fathers who are not in this league feel immense guilt, and rightly so!
Says Vikas S, an entrepreneur and dad to four-year-old, “Society norms and expectations have changed and so has parenting. It’s true that on some occasions I have felt like my absence at work will affect by business. Like during the waiting periods at my son’s doctor’s clinic. But I do know that my presence during those immunization visits had made him feel less anxious – he knows daddy’s around.”
Ashwin N K, an IT professional and father to a pre-schooler says, “Women too are happy if their men are around during the initial years of the kid’s childhood. Be it for doctor visits, helping them survey schools for the child, getting the child ready for school, holding an infant when the mother finishes her dinner peacefully at a restaurant. These are also occasions that help dads develop a bond with the child. Also, fathers of the previous generation never really spent much time with their children, partly due to economic reasons. Thankfully, today the modern urban dad’s situation is much better, and hence the affordability of time for children has shot up.”
Of course, when the women of today are seeking partners who are more emotionally supportive and not just financial providers, it becomes imperative that men develop the familial warmth in them. With women switching over easily between professional and personal roles as a modern wife and mother since the last decade, men do not want to be left behind. Employers too understand that fathers need to be with family, often, if not always. Understanding employers even have HR policies that offer the option of working from home if required. They know that increase in family time means a lot to the employee.
Says Rajiv Gunja, a system administrator for a contracting company, and father to eight-year-old son and one-year old toddler, “In my opinion, not one parent can be held as primarily responsible source for up-bringing of children. Marriage is a union of two people and is a compromise. If one cannot do something, the other should pick it up. I know a lot of Indian husbands who have taken up cooking and other household chores, because their wives are working too and come home later than they do. Although, I am seeing more of it in younger generations than in mine. But I too took up this change. Since my wife travels a longer distance for work than I do and comes home later, I usually cook in the weekdays and let her cook in the weekends. I even chose a job closer to home, so one of us can be flexible.”
A father in the movie ‘What to expect when you’re expecting’ says, “We are exhausted but are happy.” For a child grows more wholesomely when (s)he can get inputs and shelter from both parents. Perhaps this should draw some support from at least a few, if not all, old-school fathers who are yet to learn to be “dads”.
This article was published in the Living supplement of Deccan Herald on August 24th 2013.
There you go. Being a person born and brought up most part of my life in southern part of the country, I did expect a little bit of authenticity from the director and the lead actress Rohit Shetty and Deepika Padukone respectively, who are born south canara people. But hey, I guess I did expect too much from a intended nonsensical film.
I had to go for this movie as my ticket was already bought by my friend. Looking at the hype and interest of those around me I thought maybe I could be wrong. But naah-it was out & out bokwaas -the only phrase that kept ringing in my mind when returning back home after the movie.
Be it Deepika’s complete wrong accent -showing a Tamilian in poor light or the stereotype characters of southern India shown in the film or SRK’s romantic streak. Please…we have better heroes to play romantic characters. It is time Shah Rukh to move to mature roles that suit your age. The movie plot is taken from countless southern movies that had almost similar themes two decades ago.
My frustration is not because the movie is very bad but because I have contributed to its so-called box office collection.
Next time I will go with my gut feeling of not to watch bokwaas movies. It’s time to wait until the first week of a Hindi film release and then watch it. At least I can make the decision based on several reviews- paid and unpaid.
