Category Archives: My Bangalore-A view from a woman’s perspective

Baa Nanna Bengalurige means Come to my Bangalore. This section would henceforth have a few writings on Bangalore.

Employer employee woes

My Bangalore-A view from a woman's perspective, Reshma's Blog

A lot has been happening since the last one week in India with regards to women workforce, one of them bravely hitting out at her employer, through thought provoking statements, notices through media and her stance that seems at the moment like an unmovable rock.

As a woman I want to believe her completely until some miracle happens in Mr. Tejpal’s life and he is proven not-guilty.

I was just thinking as an employee (during earlier times), the relationship between an employer and an employee.

I do not want to dig into why I have left jobs during various junctures in my life (thankfully.. nothing related to physical abuse but a person can be upset emotionally too).

As a person whose full-time and part-time career spans over 15 years, I can share the following with you:

  •  Never ever write your own job responsibilities. Ask your HR team to do it. It will be easier for you to understand what is expected from you. If they insist for your contribution on this then do write but remember to ask for their expectations in writing.
  • Do not do additional tasks or take up unnecessary responsibilities unless asked. And if you yet feel like doing additional work, go on, but do not anticipate your company to reward you. They never asked you, so very few dare to pay for that as well.
  • If you are a person who values family life, be clear to your immediate boss about it. So no spending late evenings at work, unnecessarily.
  • Check your take home figure before you say yes to your new employer.

Those who read this can add more tips for new employees.

Part-time jobs and being a mom

General Thoughts, My Bangalore-A view from a woman's perspective, Pregnancy and Parenting, Reshma's Blog

Moms vs careers- Choose one option

 It’s been almost a year since I gave up a regular part-time job opportunity though it was five days a week (a job that I loved doing but things changed). Never mind, let’s not get into the reasons, I quit but the last eleven months has been a roller-coaster ride emotionally and financially. Yes in literal sense. Having all the time to spend as much as I can with my child is a huge bonus that was lost in the last official job, but the joy of seeing a fixed remuneration entering your bank account every month is lost now.

I would be lying if I say that sometimes I do not get depressed. But the only thing that has kept me sane is my family around me and truly some editors who have encouraged me to write some of my ideas and some new topics as suggested by them.

Some websites suggest freelance writing is a great option to be in, to look after family and have a professional tag. But darlings, if you want to be a freelance writer; be prepared to be extremely patient in seeing your story appear -lucky if it appears soon or wait for months.

Of course be also ready to  face innumerable rejections – before a new editor feels this something worthy.

Sometimes the story has already been done or you don’t know if the editor liked the topic or the copy –there comes no reply and you would be embarrassed to send more than two mails asking if they received the copy or not.

Over the last one year past colleagues at media and other organizations have chosen to ignore me, while others sympathize with me thinking I have lost out on everything, even when I say that I am doing fine. There are others who are so stressed juggling work, home, children, bills that they do not have any time for themselves and every time I am on phone with them –they say they envy me.. Don’t know what I should call this state-happy but in a dilemma of course.

I came across this article on the web yesterday. I could relate to it regarding lack of good part-time opportunities for women …should I say mothers who want to look after families and work.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2098550/Is-real-price-motherhood-Women-good-time-jobs-return-work.html#comments

It is not an uncommon topic for many moms that I see in front of the school gate where they discuss if the education and earlier work experience was meant to look after children and educate them. Many didn’t want to go in for full-time work roles and leave out children at least in early ages with assisted nannies or day care centers. So what’s the solution? I would say not sure at the moment, better to go with what makes you happy and what keeps peace at home.

While I have been scouting for part-time work hours, I am given this look at the interviewer’s desk as though I have asked a priceless and impossible commodity. I had written some days ago too when a particular school didn’t want moms (parent) to be working ones but most definitely wanted them to be stay-at-home educated women.

When surfing on the net on similar topics, I was surprised to see the above article that women in other parts of the developed world too have similar dilemmas.

I have just submitted an article of being happy. Until that gets published and later too, let’s hope I find a balance of being positive of finding a job I want in the hours that I want.

Would also like to mention two more articles that I read in recent times that got me thinking:

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/tech/careers/job-trends/Get-ready-to-see-women-CEOs-HP-India-MD/articleshow/25262750.cms

The woman leader in the above mentioned article says “do not say things like family will be first”….

I had a colleague in one of my earlier organizations, who seemed very aggressive on her career goals and was ready to allocate long hours for the company. She is smart, intelligent, shrewd and also had grown up children. But when I got to know her little more, she said she had never really quit her full-time work even when her babies were infants.

It would be impossible for me to do it right now(guess do not have the aggressive heart),  though I send my child to day-care.  And I have seen the difference in myself (emotionally) of spending little longer hours than earlier (of course various other factors have added to this situation).

I am less stressed (most parts of the day); do more outdoor picnics with him, cook more for him (if at all that sounds like an added incentives for being a stay-at-home mother). But have to admit that I do get conscious of savings and think of getting in a full-time work responsibility once in a while.

I also read one more article where Bangalore moms are turning into entrepreneurs as they are finding lesser and lesser opportunities that match their experience and earlier pay scales. It is not just talent but long committed work hours that organizations are looking for and until this issue gets resolved where women (moms) can take up jobs that are emotionally satisfying and well-paying, more and more moms will choose to be stay-at-home moms for a long time or choose less paying jobs (something better than nothing-to keep them busy mentally and get some paypack than nothing at all)  .

There are also moms who feel the meagre work responsibilities do not match their talent and experience.

Again it makes me think when moms  discuss this with me say they are no longer in an age and stage where people may really employ them and they might as well start something of their own. That’s nice until it really comes true.

I discovered that I loved writing and share my thoughts through the written word almost a decade ago. The world of writing has made me more open-minded, know what is good for me, understand myself as a person, know my strong likes and dislikes in people and situations and most importantly given a professional status. It didn’t matter if I can or not churn out the most brilliant piece anyone has read, many have said I am touching untouched topics and I really can connect with women –I know that for a fact.

Thank you -the written world for me to share this with you.

At least it has given me a space to share what most urban Indian moms are facing (talking of those who want to do work and take care of children –not of them who are choosing to be solely stay @ home moms and have no desire to go back to work ever again).

Who knows I might soon do something in the future, that will make me work closely with working moms or stay-at-home moms or children ( they are a very important part of most mothers  life).

Thanks for reading. Let’s see if I have different take on this topic by the end of 2014. Share your comments too when you read it.

Sharing one more link that I found it very interesting-

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2011-05-08/bangalore/29522536_1_activity-centre-mothers-options

A Saturday mid morning at Gambolla

General Thoughts, My Bangalore-A view from a woman's perspective, Pregnancy and Parenting, Reshma's Blog

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After frantic search on the net- to take my child to an interesting place and a new one in Bangalore, I discovered about Gambolla on Madras Bank Road( parallel road to Museum road and opposite St. Joseph’s Boys School).

It took little time and patience to search for this quiet place tucked away in the bustling neighborhood of M.G road and alike. I

I was not sure what to expect at Gambolla and I just wanted D -my child to try being there.

I was informed by the lady over there on the charges and I decided to try spending an hour over there.

D really liked I guess the centre as there were puzzles, story books and building blocks. In an hour he spent the time there with the child-minder(if I can call the lady who was attending to D), he didn’t really bother what I was doing.

Not sure how many times he would enjoy more being there, but yes will go back on some other weekend.

It was of course a happy experience for me …to see him happy.

Tagging a pic too of him taken there.

Yes since the last one month, have been noticing quite a few articles on activity centres for kids. Guess moms want places other than public parks and kid zones in malls, where their child will be attended, gets to engage meaningfully and not get bored.

Suddenly I also observe many such activity centres in Bangalore. Probably part of necessity and convenience.

Spending a weekend in Bangalore with a kid

General Thoughts, My Bangalore-A view from a woman's perspective, Pregnancy and Parenting, Reshma's Blog

Engaging children right through holidays is not an easy task  for a urban mom in Bangalore.

I know for sure that many want to skip the television box in their homes from getting glued by children and find alternate time -consuming and meaningful activities ; but are lost on what to do.

I have been browsing since morning on what to do this weekend with a child and not really spend too much time (money and time) at the malls.

I thought of listing a few to remind me once in a while to do them and hopefully they will be of use to some other mom too.

1) Leave home early and plan to stick to  half-a-day trip at  Cubbon Park or Lalbagh

2) Travel by select option of public transport (Volvo bus ) to other part of the city just for a long bus journey. I have found this fun sometimes and engaging enough to keep my little one quiet for quite some time during the journey.

3) Go to a book store and try to accumulate a few things to be done activity sheets beforehand and use them in holidays.

4) Again travel using another select public transport -Metro Train to and fro -again just for fun.

5) If you are game, go to Mysore or Ranganthittu bird sanctuary on a day-trip( the first one can be done with a bus or train -the latter one -it’s advisable  to have your own transport).

6) Likewise if you have a car then drive down to Nandi Hills

7) If you are a single mother then go for more home bound options like trying to get your kid to a activity centre that particular weekend . There are enough activity centres in Bangalore and indoor play areas in many locations in Bangalore that are conducting activities to engage children. If you are lucky you may find something age appropriate the weekend you are in a dilemma.

8) Spend time with your child in a bookstore in the kid’s section. In the age of mobiles, ipads and more it is even now valuable to teach kids the value of reading from a hand held paper story book. Buy something that suits your budget and your kid’s interest.

9) This one was my favourite as a kid- My dad would take me often to see the lit Vidhana Soudha in the night but now it stays as a concrete structure and away from people. Maybe just to show where the Vidhana Soudha is and the High Court is, kids can be taken as a single trip.

 

Introduction to My Bangalore from a woman living in Bengaluru

My Bangalore-A view from a woman's perspective

Bangalore is a city in India that presents a view of realistic India. It’s people have embraced the global viewpoints and opinions according to what suits them. People also have a broader perspective on accepting people of different ethnicities and countries.

While there are quite a few who have travelled to other countries and lived there before returning back to the city, there are also a huge number who haven’t moved beyond Bangalore or Karnataka.

Due to the influx of the mixed population and parents who have seen the best schools abroad, there have come into existence since the last 6-7 years a number of International schools. Of course a huge number of CBSE, ICSE and State curriculum schools also are ensuring children in Bangalore are going to turn as ambitious, intelligent and independent as their global counterparts.

We Bangaloreans love food. The number of eateries that have dotted the city’s locales are enough proof that many who live here earn to eat out! Name a cuisine from the country or the International ones, you are sure to find a restaurant that serves you right. While there are many who close down too as we people cannot tolerate ‘bad dishes” and restaurants that do not offer value for money; there are also a sizeable chunk who may not look chic in size or looks, but offer ‘yum’ South Indian food. If you visit Bangalore you cannot miss eating at a darshini- our standing and eating culture.

And there are the posh  cafes and eateries who make dining out a special experience. In between we also have mid sized eateries that have literally come up in every single neighborhood in Bangalore and are presenting global cuisines at reasonable prices, are clean but do not pay too much attention on ambience.

Coming to the attire worn by most people in Bangalore, the traditional ‘panche’ by men and ‘langa davani’ has literally vanished and sometimes seen either at homes or for festive occasions by young girls. The mall culture that sprang a decade ago has a bit gone overboard and with the number of malls in the city. Youngsters love to be there in these so called ‘hangouts’. Yes they do ensure they come dressed sharp, chic and extremely fashion conscious.

Most women that I observe on the road will not part with their leggings collection to any other garment. Yes a lot love to wear smart kurtas and leggings or long and short tees with again leggings. Size doesn’t matter, shape doesn’t matter. Bangalore women feel legging as a garment that has been introduced in their lives is something that is irreplaceable when it comes to comfort. Men too are getting fashion conscious due to better incomes, wider exposure to fashion trends though still a huge number prefer the trouser-shirt attire for most days at work.

Bangaloreans may have been termed as laid-back by Mumbaikers and Delhites but today there are many who are really hard-working and it is definitely becoming a entrepreneur city with a number of new businesses. If the BPO industry showed Bangaloreans that people can work even at night, today’s active working force (according to me between 23-50) are showing being at the right time, right place holding on to the right idea and starting it is the spirit of the new Bangalorean. It’s also about starting something new, interesting and help in bringing that feel-good factor.

The city has a number of sane individuals (thankfully) who believe in conserving some percentage of the green city tag and also some who want to promote Indian art forms and its culture. There’s theatre, classical music, classical dance, Indian artifacts, paintings -art galleries, Karnataka cuisines, a few good Indian films- in this city. There is demand and there are takers for all these along with global art forms.

As I have come to understand, many (educated, well-read, open to new ideas and adopt new attitude shifts when required) are able to converse intelligently with any individual from the globe. Bangalore has a number of Kannadigas but also it is home to many people who have come from various other states and made this city their home since the last few years or since a last few decades.

The expat population is also too minimal to be ignored and thanks to them we have wider exposure to culture, better command over various foreign languages, cuisines and attire. Many enthusiasts are learning French, German, Japanese, Chinese at authorized centers and even International schools are giving this option to their students.

I have lived in this city for over 30 years and take pride to call myself a Bangalorean. I have been a PR professional, a part-time radio jockey, an independent writer for publications, a content writer for hospitals and a few more…

Now I think it’s time for me to take on what I love further in life . Travel. So let me begin at home, move around the city, soak myself in various cultural activities, write about my bangalore and surely invite women travellers from India and other parts to join me in visiting and re-visiting Bangalore. If you like further what I would write under this category I can be your travel guide.

Hopefully will be writing a lot more Bangalore. thanks for reading.