Category Archives: Reshma’s Blog

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Tread the solo route

Deccan Herald, Published Articles, Reshma's Blog
July 23, 2014, DHNS:

The top most benefit of a solo holiday is finding out that you can do it! Also, that no one is present around you to dictate how your holiday should be is an icing on the cake, avows Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma.

A recent blockbuster Hindi film, Queen, traced the story of a young woman, Rani (Kangana Ranaut), from a conservative family, who decides to go solo on her honeymoon trip, after her fiance calls off the wedding. Her journey of self-discovery, while making for a delightful movie, also drives home the reality of space, individuality and freedom that most Indian women crave for in our patriarchal setup.

There’s a lot of apprehension regarding a woman travelling alone. Indian parents, no matter how old and mature their daughters are, put their foot down on solo travel, and certainly don’t give in to their wishes without a fight. To add to it, increasing crime rate against women does not paint a happy picture for a lady who wants to go on a trip alone.

Few though they might be, there are Indian women who travel on their own. Says Shivya Nath, a travel blogger, “While on the outset it may seem like not many Indians travel solo, I think more women are taking the plunge, or at least opening up to the idea of travelling alone.

 It’s the reason why I took to blogging and writing, because I wanted to share the joys of going solo, of finding friends in strangers, of learning to trust your own gut, and the sheer liberation you feel when you discover a place on your own terms.” 

Another trend catching up with young women is that of going on a solo trip just before they get married. They believe that’s a privilege every girl should have before she goes from being a maiden to a wife.

Reminiscing her holiday in Singapore last year, Meghana Srivatsa says, “I knew I had to fulfill my dream of going on a holiday far away from home before I was married. With a husband, it will always be ‘us time’ rather than ‘me time’, and it was important for me to be on my own for once. So when my wedding was about to be finalised, I quickly chartered out my travel plan and took off to Singapore for a week. It was one of the best things I have ever done for myself.”

Karnataka, North Kerala, Meghalaya, and even the Spiti Valley in the Himalayas are amazingly safe for women travellers, as are Singapore, Southern Spain, Bahrain and New Zealand. True, few destinations might not be all that women-friendly, but they might not be dangerous either.

Contrary to the general notions, it doesn’t take a herculean effort to stay safe during a solo trip. Simple measures like staying at hostels or crowded hotels and not staying on the outskirts – especially while abroad – carrying pepper sprays, not wandering off alone in the dark, eating in a restaurant close to your booked hotel, keeping your family members updated enroute, using the services of a trusted travel agency and the like will do.

Travel enthusiast and blogger, Mariellen Ward, explains how to take baby steps on that all-exciting journey. “If you are a first-timer, begin with a weekend jaunt to a nearby town. It makes sense to pack light. You can repeat your clothes and not carry unnecessary items like makeup kits, jewellery and more than two pairs of shoes.”

The experience of going solo is sometimes mightier and more important than the destination itself. It does not even matter if you got around to doing everything on your bucket list while at the destination; the fact that you managed a solo trip in itself can feel like a huge achievement. The top most benefit of a solo holiday is finding out that you can do it! You will find that you are stronger and more capable than you think.

It will give you a huge boost of confidence and pride, making you feel more alive than you have ever felt before. An added perk, apart from discovering yourself, is that no one is present around you to dictate how your holiday should be; you may sleep like a log or wake up early and not miss a beautiful sunrise because of somebody else!

Says Padmini Balaram, who is in her early sixties, and indulges in solo travel every now and then, “After I retired from my career in banking, I wanted to travel around the world, a wish that had been long pending in my life.

When I found that my family and friends were not as keen, I decided to travel solo, and I am extremely glad to have done that. I can fulfill my travel fancies, without having to accommodate others’ convenience or budgets. It is quite liberating!”

Make a solo trip safe with a sound plan. Because when you have a plan, you will be confident about handling any emergencies that might come your way, and soon, you will be hooked to the concept. Even if you decide to never go solo again, it’ll be an experience to remember.

Link to the article-

http://www.deccanherald.com/content/421774/tread-solo-route.html

Is it so difficult for men to control their urges and needs

Explore Bangalore- My Bengaluru, General Thoughts, My Bangalore-A view from a woman's perspective, Reshma's Blog

It was a year ago when I was working for a project for a company when one of my colleagues told me that he was disturbed by the rape of a young girl, as reported in the newspaper that morning. I said I do agree on it and it’s time people reacted. Then he told me something for which I became speechless for a while. He mentioned that India has a major gender disparity and we have more boys being born than girls.

Yes I nodded my head and then I get to hear from him, ” what do you think will happen when men have to remove their sexual urges when there are not enough women”? I just stared and stared until he left for some other task to be done.

I have never heard of any woman saying she cannot hold her sexual urge and she feels like raping any man. So how is it a problem for men?

Even otherwise, I do feel  sex has become such an overrated subject. I hope younger and all the pervert men understand, women are not beauty entities who are born to please you. Ask any elderly person in the city they are saddened by the developments the city has attained and many feel technology, digital devices and unwanted videos has unnecessarily fueled the devil’s mind.

On a another note, roam in any city in India, including Bangalore, I feel ashamed to say this that there are countless men who stand to urinate openly to any wall they feel comfortable.  Women on the other hand are taught from young to control her needs, urges and she cannot sit and urinate wherever she feels. Happy to say she does not indulge in defecating the city.

But who will explain this to men, that it is not acceptable to watch any man’s back and turn your head because he is urinating openly to some wall of a building or a home. or even an empty land.  Even young school-going kids are encouraged to do this by their moms mind you -I am talking of boys here. Girls are not allowed this liberty -you see.

Controlling our urges is not difficult and particularly viewing another woman, child, man for your sexual release is not done, will not be tolerated. I hope Bangalore soon sheds this tag of rape city to happy and free space city that has happy and sensible caring  individuals. 

 

Follow the paper trail

Pregnancy and Parenting, Published Articles, Reshma's Blog, The Hindu

Spell it outIt is not just ink and paper but a whole lot of memoriesPhoto: T. Singaravelou

Spell it outIt is not just ink and paper but a whole lot of memories-Photo: T. Singaravelou

Authored by Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma

Electronic reading devices or hard bound books—the jury is still out on this one

“Sonali, we are going to a library today”, says Harshini Bharadwaj, a mother to her seven-year-old, trying to induce some excitement into the planned outing for the evening. The young one looks a trifle irritated as she thinks momma is a bit outdated. There are stories to be read on gadgets like the iPad. And they are readily available to her thanks to her dad’s involvement in digital tools.

Apart from digital tools, there is always telly and kids are glued to it with Chhota Bheem and Ben10. So are there parents, trying to keep the tradition of reading from a book?

Ashish Verma, a graphic artist and a parent says: “When you hand out a digital device like a flashy smart phone to children even before they turn one, it is natural that they will be attracted to it and want to watch content rather than read it. Unless parents make conscious efforts right from the beginning to read from books, it is not going to appear exciting for the children.”

On the other hand, there are those who feel digital is the way forward, considering how much content is digitised these days.

And keeping children away from technology is not particularly helpful. To those, the argument is there is more to books than just a reading tool.

Varsha P says: “I have been a voracious reader since my teens. It’s an amazing feeling to be surrounded by books in a library or a bookstore or for that matter to hold on to a book in your hand. While I do encourage my daughter to use the laptop, I do not think books will cease to be anytime soon. Don’t we like to read a newspaper, watch a news clip on television, read a forward joke on the phone? So in my opinion children can read from new devices, but the charm of a book cannot be ignored and I do hope children and parents understand this point.”

According to Kavya Hegde, marketing manager of Just Books, a library chain, “Reading from a regular book and reading from a digital device can be complementary.

Both can co-exist, in fact over 60 per cent of our readers are mothers who want to introduce their child to the world of books end up taking a book themselves too. We feel there are a lot of parents who want to let their children cherish the reading experience from a hard-bound book.”

A recent comment by the former President, Abdul Kalam endorsed the view on reading from regular books when he said there should be a library in each house with a minimum of 10 books, to encourage children to read. He also urged parents to take steps to increase the collection every now and then. The verdict seems to indicate – get ready to embrace the digital form, but do not ignore the traditional form of storytelling or reading.

Reading from a regular book and reading from a digital device can be complementary. Both can co-exist

Published in the Hindu Metro Plus on July 2nd 2014.

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-metroplus/follow-the-paper-trail/article6167755.ece

Yogurt recipes

Published Articles, Reshma's Blog, The Hindu

So many optionsMaybe a smoothie…?

Curd is one of those must-haves in Indian kitchens. You can whip it into a thick lassi or a fruit smoothie or even make the traditional buttermilk or majjige as a quick trick to beat the heat. Here are three curd based recipes

 SWEET LASSI

Ingredients:

Fresh curd: 1 to 2 cups

Sugar: 5 to 7 teaspoons

Water: Half cup

Cold milk: 1 cup

Cardamom powder: One fourth tea spoon

Almonds: 5-7 sliced

A pinch of saffron strands (for garnishing)

Method:

Pour curd, water, milk, cardamom powder and sugar in a blender and make it into a smooth liquid for about 20 to 30 seconds. Do not go overboard as you may get butter floating which is not required.

Serve lassi in tall glasses

Add saffron strands for garnishing. You can also add a few sliced almonds as an option for garnishing.

Note-Lassi can be made thicker by increasing the quantity of curd and sugar.

BANANA APPLE SMOOTHIE

Ingredients

Chopped bananas: 1 cup

Chopped apples (peeled): 1 cup

Fresh curd: 1 cup (Most smoothies are made from yogurt. Curd can be used if yogurt is not readily available).

Milk/ water: half cup

Sugar: three tea spoons

Ice cubes two to five (optional) for garnishing effect or while blending the entire mixture.

Method

Add all ingredients in a blender and blend till the mixture is smooth and frothy.

Pour the smoothie in glasses and serve immediately.

Garnish the glass with a slice of apple.

 

MAJJIGE

Ingredients:

Curd: 1to 2 cups

Water: 4 cups

Salt: as required

A few lemon drops (optional)

To grind

Green chillies: 2

Chopped/ grated ginger: Half tea spoon

Tempering

Oil: 1 tea spoon

Mustard seeds: half tea spoon

Curry leaves: half tea spoon

Asafoetida: a pinch

Method

In a bowl add curd, water, salt and whisk the curd using a hand held whisk until you get a diluted liquid. Grind chillies, ginger and curry leaves and add to the buttermilk.

Dilute the buttermilk with water and lemon drops according to your desired taste and consistency.

In a pan, pour oil, add mustard seeds, asafoetida and a few curry leaves. Add this to the buttermilk.

You can strain the mixture if you desire.

Garnish the buttermilk with a few coriander leaves. Refrigerate for one to two hours for the flavours to blend well.

Serve in tall steel glasses or in small earthen tumblers for the authentic desi look to the drink.

In case you want to reduce the spicy flavour to give it to children, avoid chillies.

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-metroplus/yogurt-recipes/article5923429.ece

The stay-at-home women

Deccan Herald, General Thoughts, Published Articles, Reshma's Blog

Once upon a time, society questioned why a woman needed a career, when her man has one. Today, it’s a society that questions why educated women would want to stay at home, when they can make a career for themselves, muses Reshma Krishnamurthy Sharma.

Most of us would have met at least one career-oriented woman, a go-getter, who wears multiple responsibilities at home and at work, who wants to prove she is no less than her male peers.

There are also a few spirited women who try to get back to work, either through a part-time job, or by freelancing, or just lingering on to the hope that one day they will get back to what they love – working in an office set-up.

Then there are these other set of women who do not have great career ambitions; they might have worked once upon a time or never had a career.

They do not crib about not having a career, and never feel that they are missing out on something important in life.

 

Meet the new breed of educated, married and confident women who are happy to be “stay-at-home-ladies”.

There was once a time when the society questioned why a woman needed to work, when her man could do it.

Now, it’s a society that questions why educated women would want to stay at home! Throwing aside the somewhat feminist concept that women find contentment only when they get to have a sound career, stay-at-home-ladies are proving that women can create happy environments for themselves wherever they want to be.

Voicing it out in a recent interaction with the media, Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie said, “Acting’s a very lucky profession to be a part of, and I enjoy it, but if it went away tomorrow, I would be very happy just to be at home with my children.”

Says Smitha Rao, a young woman in early thirties, “When I got married over a decade ago, my primary focus was to understand the relationship and invest time in it. Life had changed and I wanted to take it in my own pace.
Stay-at-home women have to deal with a lot of unwanted questions and in my case, I was ever-ready to pounce at people and defend myself as to why I was not working. Today I have mellowed down and choose, many a times, to ignore unnecessary questions.”

It’s not easy to deal with questions that society demands them to answer, say some of these stay-at-home women.

It seems like everyone wants a justified answer trying to explain if you are educated, qualified, smart, then you cannot deny that you do not want to be a working professional outside home.

But it is the hardest when they start questioning themselves, they admit.

Women like Sindhu Sharath, a chartered accountant by qualification, and a mother of two, opines, “At times I do ponder over the question as to what I’m doing, not using my academic credentials. I also wonder what will happen when my little girls grow up and I will have nothing to do. But these are momentary botherations. What I do know is that at this very phase in my life, I want to be a complete mother and not bother about the judgemental eyes (mostly women’s) of the society. So I will figure it all out on the way; I’m in no hurry.”

Whether or not they have kids, these women believe the stay-at-home option is a luxury, for the simple reason that single income, in a time of ever-rising costs, is bordering on economical risks. But if a couple can afford it, then, why not?

After all, being pulled in all directions is not everybody’s cup of tea. It is a matter of personal choice.

Leaving their children in a day care, for pursuing a career, is not all that easy and nor is coming home to household chores after a hectic day at work. When such is the case, why not keep it simple and fulfilling, by choosing to bestay-at-home women if they can afford to, they ask.

 

 

A getaway from Bangalore

Reshma's Blog, Reviews
yercaud-review2
Getaway in the hills in South India

Four hours away by our own self-driven car took us sometime back to the hilly region of Yercaud in Tamil Nadu. Driving through the roads from Bangalore to the foothills of Yercaud at Salem is itself a pleasure to experience, a rarity in Bangalore when it comes to pushing your vehicle’s speed limit beyond 100kmph without any road hump or pothole.

This was not the first time we were there at this small town of Yercaud. But there was a considerable difference how we were going to enjoy our stay in a hill station thanks to the attitude and service given to us by two different hotels.

One claimed to be a historic hotel which was present in this sleepy town for ages and presumably we thought they would care about their guests too. But Shevaroys at Yercaud was a complete disappointment. Neither had they, had their loos up-to-the mark as should a hotel that charges over 3.5k per night in this part of the country nor they had bothered not to greet a new guest at their hotel with stained bedspreads, pillow covers or messy pathways. When complained about the dirty washroom in the room, they did attempt to clean up the space but still it didn’t remove any stain marks from the allotted washroom -hence dented the hotel’s image  in our perspective.

Earlier I was under the impression that it is the destination that makes the difference in a holiday. But over the years I have learnt about myself that I enjoy a holiday destination more when I am spending even a few hours in a clean, well-lit, airy and pleasant room hotel room. So thinking of our last stay at Grand Palace, we just walked into the hotel and asked them if we could see a room and book for a stay for the next night. We were shown a room and yes we were ready to pay for it almost triple the amount spent at Shevaroys with an extra family member in the room.

Getting a room booked instantaneously seemed heavenly and thankfully the next 22 hours at Yercaud made us feel luxurious and pleasant memory to hold on for a long time. The Grand Palace at Yercaud has some major plus points for a traveller who is looking for a relaxed holiday. Right from spectacular views from the hotel, the hotel is perched high above many other hotels and this is an advantage for the hotel and its guests. There is the option of choosing sunrise view room or the silent view. Opt for the silent view ones and you would be lucky if you are allotted a room that has an enclosing balcony that leads to the sprawling garden. The place also has benches spaced across the garden and one can spend the evening enjoying the views. There is also the swimming pool and it gives the view of swimming on top of a hill. Of course there is a reasonably good restaurant and a lounge bar apart from a small kid’s play area.

Make sure you carry badminton rackets, a ball if you are travelling with a child and even cricket set if are game to play the sport. There is enough space to play all of these games. We may not really visit Yercuad in the immediate future but the stay at Grand Palace ensured we did not come back with unpleasant memories.

Another world-wide celebrated day-Mother’s day

Pregnancy and Parenting, Reshma's Blog

I think since the last five to seven years urban India is unapologetic regarding celebrations of a few occasions that were completely unknown to the previous few generations. Valentine’s day,even a festival like Akshaya Trithiya -I do not remember the occasion being talked when I was young. But now if you do not buy something related to the yellow metal -gold on Akshaya Trithiya you are doing a crime.

Similarly while I do agree moms especially moms to new-born’s to a year old get some fun time, I do feel there is an element of unnecessary commercialization for Mother’s day. This year too there are advertisements running on what to gift your mom this mother’s day.

It’s a jaded feeling for me atleast. After a few years I really never wished like sending a card or a gift to my boyfriend or husband. Today I might feel happy if my child wishes me or gives me a hand-made gift but I do not want my little baby to feel pressurized and neither do I want to succumb to the pressure of giving a gift as on this occasion to my mom.

Nevertheless happy mother’s day. BTW the founder of this day as I had written an article last year on this never wanted this day to be commercialized and she wanted this day to be celebrated as a day where children would make hand-made cards, personally write for their moms and gift to their moms. She hated when the day became marketed for gifting white flowers, cards from stores etc. Today there are restaurants, jewellers and even online apparel stores tempting customers to send a gift for their moms.

Times have changed indeed

Bottoms up

Pregnancy and Parenting, Published Articles, Reshma's Blog, The Hindu

Here are a few tips to get children to drink more water

RESHMA KRISHNAMURTHY SHARMA

After every snack, give the child water to drink. Photo: K. Ramesh Babu

There are several mums who complain about their children not eating enough fruits and veggies. And then there are children who do not like to drink water, which is not such a good thing.

Sreemathy Venkatraman, a clinical dietician and nutritionist says: “The main reason for this is that children have not been habituated to drink more water. Children prefer aerated drinks but these drinks have loads of sugar and sometimes caffeine too.”

Sreemathy suggests giving children water stored in mud pots as it is flavourful and cool. Dr. Prakash Vemgal, consultant paediatrician says, “Educating children on the benefits of drinking water results in better consumption.

There is also a cultural shift in the society’s preference to juices and sugar loaded drinks which need to be minimized. One can try simple techniques like offering filtered rather than boiled water. Keep a chart of the daily water intake and try to increase it by being an example yourself.

After every snack, give the child water to drink.” Here are some more ways to get your child to drink more water

Cartoon cups

Most moms probably are trying this already. A cup or a sipper that has your child’s favourite cartoon character on it might just make water a little more attractive.

Accessibility matters

Ensure you place a mug of water with a bottle or a glass with water somewhere where your child can reach easily. Every time he finishes it, be prompt to refill the glass and remind him to have another glass in an hour’s time.

Limit the options

Don’t stock beverages like colas or sweetened drinks at home. Even if you want to offer sweetened beverages once in a while, try and dilute the liquid with parts of water.

Read a story

Find a story that features a story of a character like ‘Potter the otter-A tale about water’. Or create a short, colourful self-made storybook that has a character who is healthy and wise as he has lots of water.

Be an example

Children learn by seeing adult behaviour. Make sure you have water at regular intervals and encourage the child to do so with you.

Make a game

Children of four and above can have a game of pouring water from a small pitcher to small glasses or paper cups and set a target of finishing at least five cups in one day.

If getting your child to drink more water is still a daunting task, then increase their fluid intake with fruit juices without sugar, tender coconut, soups, seasonal fruits like watermelons and muskmelons and beverages like buttermilk or nimbu paani.

http://www.thehindu.com/features/metroplus/Food/bottoms-up/article5911358.ece?ref=sliderNews

Bull temple in Bangalore

Explore Bangalore- My Bengaluru, General Thoughts, My Bangalore-A view from a woman's perspective

Bull temple-basavanagudiThe entire neighbourhoud in this part of old Bangalore has a certain charm to it. One of the prominent locations for visitors including International visitors who can afford to have a little time and interest on a historical temple is the Bull temple. I remember, literally over a decade ago when I was a trainee PR executive in a firm, my role on a particular assignment was to take a few international media personnel from Thailand to this temple as part of their sight-seeing tour of Bangalore. The guide who was taking the personnel had a lot of unwanted information to share and if anything was exaggerate, I would be smiling to myself as to why do generally guides presented a kind of distorted image of Bangalore. But then that was years ago and I too had fun taking those journalists around the city. Cut to 2014, thanks to internet, reviews, traveller feedback, one can no longer present a different picture of tourist spots than what it is in reality. This particular temple Dodda Basavanna devasthana or Bull temple has a lot of visitors, right through the year. There is an open air path that leads to the Nandi statue and is allowed to be photographed. This temple is adjoining to the other temples in the complex that has the famous Ganesha temple and Lord Shiva temple too. But it is the Nandi statue that attracts a lot of tourists. The idol of Nandi is supposed to be carved out of a single rock. A mythological tale says that the bull temple was built to appease a bull that would consume and destroy all the groundnuts and peanuts cultivated in this area. It is also said that after the temple was built, the bull stopped damaging the crop. As a celebration of this incident, the farmers of Basavanagudi organized a Groundnut fair (Kadalekai Parase), near the temple. This festival is continued even to this date and is organized in Bangalore every year. Most Bangaloreans who live near South Bangalore find this an opportunity to just visit once this festival as part of celebrations of Bangalore’s festivals. Will be soon sharing a few pictures taken at the Bull temple a fortnight ago.